


Broken

by Robronlover96



Series: Mental Health Verse pt. 1 [1]
Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anorexia/Bulimia, Binge Drinking, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Fights, Humor, M/M, Psychosis, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, binge eating, this might make you cry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2019-10-31 00:53:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17839298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robronlover96/pseuds/Robronlover96
Summary: When Aaron comments on Robert's weight. Robert develops an obsession with his weight,but his obsession with his weight turns into an eating disorder, will Robert's friends and loved ones be able to help him before it's too late?





	1. Chapter one

Robert's P.O.V.

 

I was sat on the sofa with Aaron. we were watching re-runs of Two and a half men,

i pulled Aaron into my side and he rested his head on my shoulder. 

i took my hand and i gently combed my fingers through his dark hair, 

 

We stayed like that for while. me combing my fingers through Aaron's dark hair. 

while Aaron just closed his eyes, and sighed happily in contentment. 

 

The room went silent for a while. neither one of them really saying anything,

that is until Aaron spoke up. 

 

''Rob?'' he said looking up at me,

 

''Yeah'' i said looking down at him. 

 

''I love you'' Aaron said, 

 

''Aww i love you too baby'' i said pressing a kiss to the top of Aaron's forehead. 

 

We looked away from each other. and we looked back at the T.V, 

 

10 minutes later the door opened and Liv walked in. 

 

''Hey'' Aaron said looking over at his sister, 

 

''Hey'' Liv responded. 

 

''You okay?'' Aaron said after a second. 

 

Liv nodded

 

'Yeah i'm good'' she said,

 

and with that  Liv walked over to the fridge

and she grabbed a bottle of water, 

after that she joined me and Aaron in the living room, 

 

''What you watching?'' Liv said as he took a sip of water. 

 

 ''Uh.. Two and a half men'' I said, 

 

Liv nodded. 

 

''What have you been up to then?'' I said,

 

''Just been out with Gabby'' she said.

 

I nodded, 

 

''What about you?'' Liv said ''What have you too been doing''

 

''M'mm, nothing much'' Aaron said ''We've just been watching T.V. and cuddling''

 

Liv nodded and took another sip of water.

 

And then they all went back to watching the 

T.V, 

 

 fifteen minutes into the next episode, 

 

Liv stood up from sofa

 ''I'm going up to my room'' Liv said as he walked up the stairs and then

out of sight, 

 

Leaving me and Aaron by ourselves. 

 

After a few minutes. Aaron spoke up, 

 

''Hey what do you want for dinner?'' he said.

 

I shrugged, 

 

''I don't know?'' i said ''What about you?''

 

''Pizza'' Aaron said. 

 

I nodded, 

 

''Yeah Pizza it is'' I said, 

 

I stood up from the sofa. and i put the pizza in the oven, 

once i did that i joined Aaron back on the sofa. 

 

And we continued to watch re-runs of Two and a half men, 

 

10 minutes later the food was cooked. 

and i put it onto plates, and 

then i put it on the table. 

 

Once i did that. Aaron went over to the stairs,

 

''Liv food's ready'' Aaron called up the stairs, 

 

Less than a minute later. Liv came down the stairs,

 

and walked to the kitchen.  

 

Me. Aaron, and Liv walked over to the table. 

and we sat down, 

 

We piled food onto our plates. 

and then we just dug in,  

 

After several minutes. i had eaten everything on my plate, i've had

like three slices of pizza. but to be honest that didn't fill me up at all, 

so i decided to have another piece.

 

I reached over and i went to grab another slice of pizza.

 

Aaron looked at me and he frowned, 

 

 ''Don't you think you've had enough?'' Aaron said,

 

i turned towards Aaron and i narrowed my eyes into slits, 

 

''I've only had like three slices'' i retorted. folding my 

arms over my chest. 

 

''It's just..'' Aaron said biting his lip, 

I waited for Aaron to continue. but he didn't, 

and i was getting annoyed. 

 

''it's just what Aaron!'' i said raising my voice a little, 

 

''It's just.. you're starting to gain a few pounds'' Aaron said. his 

eyes adverting to the floor, 

 

I looked at Aaron.

and i felt my heart sink to my stomach, is that really what he thinks of me.

does he really think that i'm fat, does he really think that i need to lose weight. 

 does he really think that i'm tubby, pathetic loser, who just does nothing

but. eat himself to the brink of extinction, 

 

 And if he does think that. why is he still here?, why is he still with me? why hasn't 

left me for someone else eh? i don't really know why? and i guess i never will... 

 

Suddenly a wave of emotion washed over me. and i felt like crying right then and there, 

but I bit my lip. and i held back the tears that were threatening to fall, 

 i couldn't cry in front of Liv and Aaron. because if they saw that i was crying,

they would both want to know why. and if i'm being honest i'm really not in the 

mood for any of that right now, so i just pushed my plate away from me. and 

i stood up from the table, i pushed my chair back. and i walked towards the stairs, 

but as i did, Aaron spoke up. 

 

''Where are you going?'' Aaron questioned, 

 

 I didn't respond.  

 and i ran straight up the stairs, to mine and Aaron's shared room. 

 

ignoring the concerned looks that Aaron and Liv were giving me.

 

i entered the bedroom.  

i stood in front of the mirror. and i pulled my shirt up to my chest, 

 

i looked at my stomach and i cringed. 

 Oh my god why am i so fucking fat! i thought. i look like a frickin' whale, suddenly a realisation hit 

me. if i keep eating like this, then i will look like a whale, that thought alone

just made me want to screw my face up disgust. 

 

What the fuck have i let myself become i thought. this isn't me, this isn't who i am. who the fuck 

is this person i see before me, it was like this person who i was staring at, was me. but there 

again it wasn't me, i was just so perplexed. i just didn't know what to think, 

 

 i knew what i had to do. and that was i had to go on a diet, 

 i pull my shirt back down to my waist. and i walked into the bathroom, 

 

i walked over to the toilet. and dropped to my knees, i shoved a couple of

fingers down my throat. and then i emptied my stomach contents into the toilet, 

and i kept doing until there was nothing left to throw up. 

 

I stood up from the bathroom floor. my legs pretty much felt like jelly, 

  Wiped away the sick from around my mouth, 

i threw the tissue in the bin and i flushed it, 

 

After that. i  started to walk of the bathroom. but my legs were starting buckle, 

i stood against the wall, to hold myself up. 

but just like that, my legs gave out,  

and i slid down the wall, I buried my head in my hands

and i just cried and cried and cried, 

 

After a while i had stopped crying and my breathing had returned to normal. 

 

i pulled myself up into a standing position. my legs were having great difficulty 

holding my body up straight, so i gripped onto the wall. to keep me upright,  and with that 

i proceeding to walk out of the bathroom. 

 

I went entered the bedroom and i flopped down onto the bed. 

 

All of sudden these thoughts started to come into my head, 

Ugly. fat, worthless. pathetic, not good enough, 

 

I felt empty. i felt numb, i felt hopeless. i just felt like everyone i knew, would be

better of without me. And the more i thought about it, the more i started to believe it. 

 

It was true though... everyone would be better of without me, all i do is bring pain and misery 

to every single person i know. is it any wonder why everyone i know, just wants nothing to do

with me anymore. To be honest i can't say that i blame them. 

because if i was them, i wouldn't want nothing to do with me either. and 

that's actually saying something isn't it...

 

Yeah it is.

 

I snap out of my trance that i was in. and i grab the remote off

the bedside table, 

 

 i flicked through the channels. and i put on the walking dead, i put

the remote down beside me. i led back against the headboard, 

and i focused my attention on the T.V, 

 

20 minutes into the next episode, i heard footsteps coming up the stairs. and across the 

landing, after a couple of seconds Aaron walked into the room. 

 

''Hey'' Aaron said as he walked over and sat down on the bed, 

 

Robert looked over at Aaron. 

 

''Hey'' he responded, 

 

The room went silent for moment. and then Aaron spoke up, 

 

 ''Look... about what i said earlier'' Aaron said ''I didn't mean to make you feel insecure''

 

I gave Aaron a small smile.

 

''It's ok'' i said, 

 

Aaron shook his head.

 

''No. no it's not Rob'' he said ''I shouldn't have said that, and for that i apologise'' 

 

 Robert smiled a little,

 

''Well.. i accept your apology'' i said,  

 

Aaron smiled in response. 

 

'Thanks'' Aaron said,

 

I beamed.

 

''You're welcome'' i said 

 

 And with that we leaned into each other and we went in for a kiss. 

they broke the kiss, and they pulled away from each other slightly.

 

''love you'' Aaron said,

 

Robert hummed in response.

 

''M'mm i love you too'' I said,  

 

And then we went in for another kiss. 

 

After a couple of minutes. we broke the kiss 

and we both stood up, and we went got ready for bed. 

 

After that we both came into our room.

and we got into bed, 

we both led down and went to sleep, but not before 

saying goodnight to each other. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert continues to go downhill. he starts to self harm, and he continues to have negative thoughts.

** Robert's P.O.V  **

 

I opened my eyes. i rolled over, and i looked at the clock on the bedside table. It read 7:30am, 

 

After a minute. i pulled myself up into a sitting position, and i stretched my arms above my head. 

 

I pulled the covers off of myself, i got dressed. and then i made my way downstairs, 

 

Once i got downstairs. i walked over to the kitchen, i made myself a cup of coffee. 

and then i sat at the table, 

 

I wasn't really that hungry. so i just grabbed an apple out of the fruit bowl, and i ate that. 

 

I took a sip of coffee, before putting it down. 

 

A couple of minute later. Liv walked down the stairs, 

and into the kitchen. 

 

''Morning'' I said,

 

''Morning Rob'' Liv said. 

 

The room went silent for a second, and then Liv spoke up. 

 

''You alright?'' She said, 

 

I nodded.

 

''Yeah i'm fine'' I said, 

 

Liv nodded. and then she went to make herself a bowl of cereal, 

Once she had done that, she sat at the table. 

 

Suddenly my thought's started to race, 

 

Ugly, worthless. not good enough, failure. disgusting, pathetic i thought. 

it's true though... i am all of those things and more, 

 

I took another sip of tea. before i set down again, 

 

I buried my head in my hands. and i let out a massive sigh, 

 

''Morning'' Aaron said as he walked into the kitchen. 

 

I snapped out of my thoughts. and looked at Aaron, 

 

''Morning'' I said kind of deadpan. 

 

''You okay?'' Aaron asked, 

 

''Yeah i'm fine'' i said waving him off. 

 

Aaron made himself a cup of coffee, and two rounds of toast. and then he

joined me and Liv at the table, 

 

''Morning bro'' Liv said. 

 

''Morning Liv'' Aaron said ''You alright'' 

 

Liv nodded, 

 

''yeah'' She said as she ate spoonful of cereal. 

 

''that's good'' Aaron said, 

 

And then Aaron turned in his seat, and he faced me. 

 

'''You alright Rob?'' he said, 

 

''Yeah i'm great'' i said ''Why'd you ask?'' 

 

''I'm just making sure'' Aaron said. as he took a sip of coffee, 

 

Aaron finished his coffee. and his toast, he stood up from where he was sat. 

he put his cup and plate in the sink, 

 

Once he did that. he put his shoes and coat on, he grabbed his keys, wallet, phone

off of the side, 

 

''Right i'm off to the supermarket'' Aaron said. 

 

I nodded, 

 

''Ok'' i said. as i took a sip of my coffee. 

 

And then he walked out of the door, leaving me and

Liv by ourselves. 

 

Liv finished her bowl of cereal. and then she put her bowl in the sink, and then 

she walked over to the door

 

''Where are you off too?'' I said. 

 

''I'm going to meet some friends'' Liv said as she put her shoes on, 

 

''Alright see you later then'' I said. 

 

''See you'' Liv said as she grabbed her coat. and then walked out, 

 

I finished up my coffee. i put my mug in the sink, i discarded my apple core in the bin. 

and then i walked out of the kitchen, 

 

I thought for a moment. and i contemplated on what i should do next? 

 

After a moment. i decided to do some work, 

 

So i grabbed my laptop from upstairs. along with the charger, 

and went back downstairs. 

 

I set my laptop up, and then i got on with the work i needed to do.

 

I was about 30 minutes into doing my work, 

 

When suddenly my thoughts start to race. 

 

You're so fucking ugly, no wonder nobody wants to look at you i thought. not that i blame them, 

because if i was them. i wouldn't want to look at me either, 

 

Your just waste of space. nobody wants you around, so do everyone a favour. and do one ay, 

 

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes. but i managed to keep them at bay, 

 

Your such a coward. you know that i thought, whenever something becomes too much. you run away in the other direction, 

 

Your such a pig i thought. all you do is eat, no wonder your the size of a house. 

 

Shut up! i thought, just shut the fuck up! 

 

And with that. i stood up from the sofa, and ran straight upstairs. to the bathroom, 

 

I rummaged through the draws. and i got out a razor, 

 

I walked over to the bathtub. i perched on the edge of it, i rolled up the left sleeve

of my jumper. and i took the plastic cover off of the blade, 

 

I looked down at the floor. and these thoughts started to flood through my head, 

 

Your so fucking worthless i thought. do everyone a favour, and go and kill yourself already. 

the world would be better off without you anyway, 

 

Tears came to my eyes. and ran down my cheeks in torrents, 

 

I took the razor in my hand. i pressed it against my skin, i dragged it across my arm. 

making a cut, a crimson coloured substance ran out of the wound. and it ran down my

arm, staining it a dark red colour. 

 

You stupid cunt i thought, you can't do anything right. and when you do, you just completely 

fuck everything up. 

 

I took the razor again. i pressed it against my skin, and i made another cut just above the first one. 

 

Blood ran out of the cut, and it trickled down my arm. 

 

After a couple of seconds, i stood up from where i was sat. i put the cover back on the blade, 

and then i put the razor back in the draw. 

 

I grabbed a towel off of the towel rack, i wrapped it around my arm. 

i pressed down on it and applied pressure to it, to try and stop the blood 

from seeping out of the wounds. 

 

 

A minute later i took the towel off of my arm, and i put it in the laundry basket. 

 

I rolled my sleeve back down, i walked out of the bathroom, and then i went back downstairs. 

 

I sat down on the sofa. and i decided to turn the T.V on, i flicked through the channels. and i 

put on re-runs of breaking bad, 

 

I put the remote beside me. and i focused on the T.V, 

 

45 minutes later the episode what finished. and the credits rolled, 

 

My stomach rumbled. H'mmm... i thought, 

it must be time for lunch. 

 

I didn't want lunch. it's no that i didn't want it, i did. it's just the thought of 

food makes me want to hurl, so i ignored the feeling in my stomach.

and i carried on with what i was doing, 

 

Suddenly these thoughts went through my head. 

 

Why don't you just go and kill yourself i thought, 

no one's going to miss you. i mean why would they? 

they can't stand the sight of you, so what difference would 

it make. none whatsoever i reckon, 

 

I mean what's the point of living. it's not like i've got anything to live for

is it? No... no i haven't, my life's just a meaningless drag anyway. 

 

About five minutes later, the front door opened. and Aaron walked in, carrying various bags of shopping. 

 

''Hey'' I said, 

 

''Hey'' Aaron responded. 

 

The room went quiet for a second, and then Aaron spoke up. 

 

''You Alright?'' he said, 

 

I nodded. 

 

''Yeah'' i said, 

 

And with that he walked over to the kitchen. and he put all the shopping away, 

 

Once he did that. he looked over at me, 

 

''Do you want a brew?'' he said. 

 

I nodded, 

 

''Yeah go on then'' i said. 

 

And with that. he turned don his heel, and went to make two cups of tea. 

 

Once he did that, he walked over to the living room. with two cups of tea

in hand, 

 

He passed one of the cups to me. 

 

''Thanks'' I said as i took it off of him, 

 

''You're welcome'' Aaron said. 

 

And then he sat down next to me, 

 

Conversion between us was pretty much non-existent. that was until 

Aaron spoke up, 

 

''So what have you been doing while i was out then?'' he said suddenly. 

 

I shrugged nonchalantly, 

 

''I did some work. i watched some T.V, you know that kind of thing'' I said. as i took a sip of tea, 

 

Aaron nodded, 

 

''What about you?'' i said after a second ''How was the supermarket''  

 

Aaron laughed. 

 

''It was complete chaos'' he said, taking a sip of tea. 

 

I let out a breathy laugh,

 

''Yeah i figured as much'' i said. 

 

Suddenly the door opened. and Liv walked in, 

 

''Hey'' Liv said. as she walked to the living room, 

 

''Hey'' i said ''Did you have a nice time'' 

 

Liv nodded.

 

''Yeah i great time'' She said smiling, 

 

''Where did you go?'' Aaron asked. 

 

''I went out with some friends'' Liv said, 

 

Aaron nodded in response. 

 

''What did you do?'' he said, 

 

''Not much'' Liv said ''We just kind of hung out'' 

 

Aaron nodded. 

''Cool'' he said, 

 

''Right i'm going up to my room'' Liv said ''I'm going to talk to Gabby'' 

 

And with that. she walked upstairs, and then out of sight. 

 

Leaving me and Aaron by ourselves, 

 

We talked for a little while longer. and then 

we ate dinner, 

 

Once i had finished my food. i stood up from the table, 

 

And i ran upstairs to the bathroom. 

 

I collapsed to my knees. i shoved two fingers down my throat, and i

emptied my stomach contents into the toilet. 

 

Once i had finished. i stood up from the floor, my legs shaking as i did so, 

 

I wiped away all the sick from around my mouth. i threw the tissue into the toilet, 

and then i flushed it. 

 

I walked out of the bathroom, and i went back downstairs. and i was met with

a concerned looking Aaron, 

 

''You alright'' he asked. 

 

''Yeah why wouldn't i be?'' i responded, 

 

''You just look a little down that's all'' Aaron said. 

 

''No i'm good'' i said with as much happiness as i could muster, 

 

''Alright'' Aaron said ''Just checking'' 

 

''Yeah well.. i'm fine'' i said. 

 

And then i sat down on the sofa, next to my beloved husband. 

 

Aaron pulled me into his side. and i put my head on his shoulder, 

 

Aaron took his hand. and he gently combed his fingers through my hair, 

 

We stayed like that for a while. and we sat in silence and watched T.V, 

 

After fifteen minutes. Aaron spoke up, 

 

''I love you. you know that right'' he said sincerely. 

 

I hummed in response, 

 

''M'mmm i love you too'' i said. 

 

And with that. i cuddled deeper into Aaron, and we sat

and continued to watch T.V, 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                   

                      

                    

             

                           

 

            

 


	3. Chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert continues to spiral. and he starts to drink,

 

          **Robert's P.O.V.**

 

 

I was sat in the portacabin. doing paperwork, Aaron was outside, fixing up 

a car, he had his earphones in and he had his music blasting as he did so,  

 

Ten minutes later.  

 

The portacabin door opened and Aaron walked in. 

 

 ''Do you want a cup of tea or coffee?'' Aaron asked, 

 

I nodded, 

 

''Yeah coffee would be great thanks'' i said.  

 

And with that. Aaron walked over to the kitchen, 

and he made himself and me a cup of coffee.  

 

One minute later he walked over, two cups in hand. 

 

Aaron handed me my coffee

 

''Thanks'' i said as i took the cup off of him. 

 

''Eh don't mention it'' he said, 

 

And then he went over and he sat down at his desk, 

 

 We sat down. we drank our coffee, and we talked about

various things. 

 

Fifteen minutes later, Aaron stood up from his desk, and he put his cup in the sink.  

 

''Right i'm off' he said, 

 

''Oh yeah'' Robert said ''where are you off to then?'' 

 

''I got to go and pick up some scrap from leeds'' Aaron said, 

 

I nodded. 

 

''Alright'' i said

 

Aaron walked over to me. and he placed a kiss on my cheek, 

 

''See you later'' he said. 

 

I smiled back at him, 

 

''See you'' i said 

 

and with that. he walked out of the door, 

 

As soon as Aaron left i continued with my paperwork, 

 

30 minutes later. i needed a break, i made

myself another coffee. and then i just led back in my chair and 

relaxed, 

 

It was lunchtime. i didn't know whether or not i should eat, 

i thought for a few seconds. and i decided to give lunch a miss today, 

i wasn't that hungry anyway... 

 

So i just finished my coffee and then i got back to work, 

 

Three hours later i had finished my work. i decided to call it a day and go home, 

i packed up my things, and once i had done that. i picked up everything i brought 

with me, i walked out of the portacabin. and i then i locked up, 

 

I got in my car. and i drove off out of the scrapyard, and sped off in the direction of home, 

 

twenty minutes later. i arrived back at the mill. i pulled up on the drive, i got out of the

car, i locked it. and i walked down to the front door, 

 

i unlocked the door. and i walked inside, 

I took off my shoes and my coat, 

 

and then i chilled on the sofa and decided to watch some T.V, 

 

Ten minutes later my thoughts started to race. 

 

You stupid son of a bitch i thought. your nothing but i lost cause you know that. 

everyone you knew or loved, you have driven away because they've had enough of you

and you smug, obnoxious. disloyal ways, 

 

Your a failure i thought. 

your crap at everything you do, and 

You're a disappointment to everyone and everything you do, 

 

Shut up! i screamed none of that is true it's all lies. 

 

And with that i stood up from the sofa, 

and i ran upstairs. 

 

I rummaged through the draw. and i got out the razor, 

 

I sat down down on the toilet, i rolled up my sleeve.  

 I took a deep breath, 

 

suddenly the thoughts started to go crazy. 

 

Aaron deserves better than i thought. your nothing but a trainwreck, he deserves someone

who isn't a selfish, manipulative, greedy. scheming, arrogant twat like you, so do what's 

best and walk away. before you end up hurting him, 

 

  I pressed the blade to my skin. and i dragged the razor across my arm, 

Blood seeped out of the cut, and it trickled down my arm.

 

You self obsessed bastard i thought. you don't give a fuck about anyone expect for yourself, 

it doesn't matter about what anybody else wants, it's all about you, you, you, 

Fuck what what everyone else thinks and says ay? 

 

I dug the blade into my skin again, and i pulled it across my arm. 

A crimson coloured substance ran out of the cut, and it ran down my arm, 

 

i ripped off some toilet roll and I cleaned up

the blood from around my wounds, and i put the tissue in the bin, 

 

i put the cover back on the blade, and then i put it back in the draw. 

but i hid it so no one else would find it, 

 

I walked out of the bathroom and then I walked back downstairs. I walked over to the kitchen, i rummaged through the cupboards. And I got out a bag of crisps, and a pack of chocolate chip cookies. 

 

I sat down in front of the T.V,

and i turned the T.V on,  

i flicked through the channels and i put on some action movie that was on one of the 

movie channels, i put the remote down beside me. 

 

And i just stuffed my face with food, as i watched T.V, 

 

Ten minutes later the door opened. 

''Aaron?'' i said, 

 

''No it's just me'' the voice said, 

 

i turned in my seat and saw that it was Liv. 

 

''Hey how was college?'' i said, 

 

''It was good'' She said taking off her coat and hanging it up ''busy but good'' 

 

I nodded. 

 

''What about you?'' Liv said taking off her shoes  ''How was your day?''

 

''It was alright'' i said ''I had a lot of paperwork to do, but apart from that it was ok''

 

Liv laughed, 

 

''Work hey who needs it'' she said her voice coloured with amusement 

 

I laughed. 

 

''Yeah don't remind me'' i said 

 

Liv laughed,  

 

''Yeah me either'' she said 

 

Me and Liv laughed. 

 

Liv dumped her bag on the floor. and she sat down on the sofa, 

She got her phone out of her pocket and scrolled through it, 

 

The room was quiet. neither one of us really said anything much,

as i was watching T.V, and Liv was scrolling through her phone, on what was persumably 

social media. 

 

Five minutes later the front door opened, 

 

''Hey guys you alright?'' Aaron nodded, 

 

''yeah'' Me and Liv said in unison. not really looking

up from what we were doing, 

 

Aaron laughed and he shook his head. 

 

And then he walked over to the kitchen, and made himself a cup of tea. 

once he did that he joined me on the sofa, 

 

Aaron took a sip of tea. before setting it down again, 

 

Me. Aaron and Liv we sat and talked about different topics of interest,

like what movies we liked or hated. what music we liked, and things like that. 

 

And we just had a good old laugh. as you do, 

 

Dinner rolled around. we ordered chinese takeaway, 

and we ate it in front of the T.V, 

 

As soon as i finished dinner. I ran upstairs. and went straight to the bathroom, 

i collapsed to my knees. i expelled my stomach contents into the toilet, 

i gripped onto the edge of the toilet. my knuckles turning white as

i did so, 

 

After a minute i stopped throwing up into the toilet, i stood up from the 

toilet, my legs wobbling as i did so.  

 

I wiped all the sick away from around my mouth. i threw the tissue in the bin, 

and then i flushed it. 

 

 And i walked out of the bathroom, and went downstairs. 

 

 Suddenly i felt really hot. i don't know why? 

but my body temperature has risen in the last 

five seconds, i needed to get some air. i needed to get out of this house, 

and that is exactly what i did.  

 

 I rounded the bottom of the stairs, and then i made my way towards

the front door. 

 

But as i did, Aaron spoke up, 

 

 ''Rob where are you going?'' he said

I didn't respond.  i just walked towards the door, 

 

''Robert'' he said again

 

I still didn't respond.

I just carried on walking,

I grabbed my jacket off of the hook. and then i walked out of the door, 

 

 And I walked up to the bar. 

“Pint please” I Said to charity.

 

Charity poured my pint. And then she put it in front of me,

 

I picked up the glass. And I took a sip, before putting it down again. 

 

Ten pints later.

stood up from where I was sat at the bar, I walked out of the doors. 

And I made my way back to the mill. 

 

After a few minutes. I was the front door, I opened the door

and I walked inside. 

 

Mane I was met a Angry looking Aaron.

fuck I thought. I’m really in for it now. 

I took a deep breath and i walked over to the living room. occasionally stumbled as I did so, 

 

“Robert” Aaron Said his voice full of annoyance. 

 

“What” I Said, 

 

“Where have you been?” He said.

 

I scoffed, 

“I went out is that alright with you?” I Said my voice coloured with Sassiness. 

 Aaron rolled his eyes

“Yes I know that” he Said sarcastically “but where did you go?” 

I scowled deeply. 

“What’s it to you?” I sniped. 

 This angered Aaron further.

“What’s it to me?” He said “I tell you what this has to do with me”

the room was silent for a second and then 

he spoke again, 

“You’re my husband Robert” Aaron said “I like to know where you are, what your doing ok” 

 Robert rolled his eyes. and let out an 

exasperated sigh, 

“Eh I’m not in the mood for this” Robert slurred drunkenly. 

going to stand up from the sofa, 

Aaron gave him a look. 

“Sit back down” he Said darkly “Your going nowhere” 

 

“You can’t tell me what to do Aaron” Robert Said tetchily. “You’re not my dad”

 

''Do you know what Robert!'' Aaron said ''I can't even talk your like this, so get out of my sight'' 

 

I stood up from the sofa abruptly, 

 

''gladly'' I said. 

 

and with that i stormed off upstairs to mine and Aaron's room, 

 

I entered the bedroom. i led down on the bed, and i stared at the wall. 

I was so fucking pissed! Who the hell does he think he is telling me what i can 

and can't do, this is my life. my rules, 

 regardless of what he thinks or says. 

 

 After a while or so. actually scratch that, i didn't know how much time had passed. 

 

Aaron walked in the room and he looked as outraged as before, 

and that was an understatement. 

 

Neither of us said a thing, not even two words to one another, 

 

We just got ready for bed. and then went to sleep, 

we didn't even say goodnight to each other. 

 

We just went to sleep and that was it,  

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter four

 

 Robert's P.O.V

 

I opened my eyes and the first thing i noticed was, the blinding ache between my eyes.

 It felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer, and whacked me across

the head with it. the pain was just unbearable, and i'm not exaggerating either... 

 

After a couple of minutes i pull myself up into a sitting position, but as i did. a sharp yet

agonising pain shot through my skull, and i could feel the room starting to spin. 

 

 Suddenly my stomach was in knots. the next thing i knew,

i could feel my stomach contents coming up my throat. 

 

Fuck i thought. as i started to panic, i could feel my heart starting to race. i knew i had to act quick, or i'm 

going to throw up all over the bed covers. 

 

 I got out of bed. and i ran straight to the bathroom, 

i collapsed to my knees. and i expelled my stomach contents into the toilet, 

 One minute later I had stopped spewing my guts out.

 I pulled myself up from the bathroom floor. My legs shuddering as I did so, 

 I ripped off some tissue, and I wiped away all the sick from around my mouth.

once I had done that. I threw the tissue in the bin, and then I flushed it. 

I walked out of the bathroom. And back in

to mine and Aaron’s shared room, 

 

I got back into bed and i turned the T.V on, i flicked through the channels.

and i put on some random T.V show, 

 

I put the remote down beside me and i led back and watched the T.V, 

 

Five minutes later Aaron walked into the room. a plate with a bacon sandwich on it, in his hand. 

 

 Aaron walks over to the bed, and then he sits down next to me. 

 

He took the plate that was in his hand. and he put it on my lap, 

 

I looked down at the plate and i just stared at the bacon sandwich

that was on the plate. Just the thought of food made me want to throw up, 

 

''Well.. Are you going to eat it or are you just going to stare at it all day?'' Aaron annoyed. 

 

''I'm not really that hungry'' i said, 

 

''Eat it'' he said. 

 

I shook my head, 

''I don't want it'' i said, 

 

Aaron let out an exasperated sigh and sighed. 

''Goddamnit Robert'' he said his patience running thin ''Why do you have to be so difficult'' 

 

 I shrugged, 

''I don't know'' i said ''it's just who i am isn't it'' 

 

Aaron huffed a laugh. 

''I swear sometimes Robert i could throttle you'' he said, 

 

My eyes widened with surprise. 

''You wouldn't do that'' I said, 

 

''Oh wouldn't i?'' Aaron said tilting his to one side ''yeah your right i wouldn't, but there again i have

been tempted a few times'' 

 

The room was silent for a moment and Aaron spoke up. 

''So'' he said ''are you going to eat the sandwich or not?'' 

 

I rolled my eyes, and i let out an exasperated sigh, 

''Alright fine'' i huffed. 

 

 I picked up half of the sandwich and i took a bite, 

 

''There are you happy'' I said.

 

''Yes very'' Aaron said, 

 

 Five minutes later i had finished eating the sandwich. 

 

I handed the plate back to Aaron. 

 

 And with that. he stood up from the bed and took the plate downstairs, 

 

I re-positioned myself and then i focused my attention back on the T.V, 

 

A few seconds later, i felt the need to throw up. 

 

I jumped up from the bed and I ran to the bathroom.

i collapsed to my knees, and i retched my stomach contents into the toilet. 

 

One minute later. i stopped ejecting my stomach contents into the toilet, 

 

i stood up from the bathroom floor. my legs quivering as i did so, 

 

i wiped away all the sick from around my mouth. i put the 

tissue in the toilet and then i flushed it, 

 

After that. i walked back into the bedroom. 

 

i sat down on the bed. and i went back to watching the T.V, 

 

 Suddenly these thoughts started to go through my head, 

 

You lazy git i thought. all you do is sit around all day, you don't go anywhere or do anything. 

you just lounge around and watch T.V and eat junk food, 

 

You dishonest asshole i thought. all you do is lie and cheat, and steal from other people 

you should be ashamed of yourself. you fat fuck, 

 

A rogue tear slipped down my cheek. and i sniffed a little, 

 

I get up from the bed and

I run into the bathroom and i locked the door, I went over to the draw,  and I 

rummaged in the draw for the razor.

 

Once I found it. I took it out, and then I walked over and I perched on the edge

of the bathtub. I rolled my right sleeve up, and I took a deep breath

to calm myself. 

 

My thoughts started to go crazy again, 

 

You incompetent prick i thought. Your shit at your job, your just crap at everything you do. 

and your just an unsuccessful, untalented. unlucky piece of rubbish, who deserves to die. 

 

I pressed the blade into my skin. And then I dragged it across my arm, 

leaving a cut. Blood trickled out of the cut and it drizzled down my arm, 

 

 You reckless cunt i thought. You never think before you do things, you just do it. 

and then you end up hurting people because of it, is it any wonder people hate you! 

and want nothing to do with you. no not really... 

 

 i dug the blade into my skin again. And I did made another cut 

just above the first one, 

 

i ripped off some toilet roll. and I wiped all the blood from around my wounds,

 

once i I was done. I threw the tissue in the toilet, and then I flushed it. 

 

I walked out of the bathroom and I made my way downstairs.  

Once I was downstairs, I walked over to the kitchen and I made myself a cup of coffee. Which I so desperately needed, because I had hardly any energy at all. 

 

Once i had made my coffee, i went back upstairs, 

i entered mine and Aaron's room and i sat back down on the 

bed. 

 

And i drank my coffee as i sat and watched the T.V,  

Once i had finished my coffee. i put the cup on the bedside table, 

and i continued to Watch T.V, 

 

A couple of minutes later Aaron walked back in the room. 

 

''Where have you been?'' i asked, 

 

''Oh i was doing some washing'' he said.

 

I nodded, 

 

''Oh Ok'' i said. 

 

he walked over to the bed, and he sat down next to me. 

and we just sat and watch T.V together, 

 

Fifteen minutes later. 

 

I stifled a yawn, and Aaron looked at me. 

''Tired?'' he said, 

 

I nodded in agreement

''Yeah'' i said. ''i didn't really get much sleep last night'' 

 

Aaron furrowed his eyebrows, 

 

''How come?'' He said.

 

I shrugged,

 

''I don't know i just didn't'' i responded. 

 

''Well.. why don't you lie down and get a bit of shut eye eh?'' Aaron said, 

 

I yawned again. 

''yeah'' i said, 

 

And with that i led down, i closed my eyes and i drifted off to sleep. 

 

 Aaron’s P.O.V. 

 

I placed a kiss on the top of Robert's forehead. i pulled myself up into a standing position, 

and then i walked out of the room and made my way downstairs.

 

Once i got downstairs, i walked over to the front door. i put my shoes and coat on, 

and then i walked out of the door. closing it behind me, 

I walked up the driveway. the stones crunching under my feet as i walked, 

 

After a couple of minutes i got to the woolpack, I walk into the inside.

And I walked up to the bar, 

 

My mum walks over to the bar.

”Hiya love” mum said. greeted with a smile, 

 

”Hi” I Said kind of deadpan,

 

mum furrowed her eyebrows and her smile

faltered.

”Everything ok” my mum asked,

 

'Yeah'' I said. i paused for a minute, before speaking again ''Can i talk to you a minute'' 

 

''yeah of course love'' my mum 

 

''Can we go somewhere a bit more private'' I said. 

 

''Yes of course'' My mum said, 

 

 And with that we walked through to the back room. 

 

Once we were in the back room. i sat down on the sofa, 

 

”Do you want a brew” mum said.

 

”Yeah” I Said. 

 

mum nodded, and she walked over to the 

kitchen. 

 

A couple of minutes later mum walked over two cups of tea in hand. 

 

“Thanks” I Said as my mum handed me 

one of the cups.

 

”No problem love” She said. and then she sat down on the 

next to me, 

 

”So how’s things with you?” mum said suddenly. As she took a sip of tea. 

 

I took a deep breath and i sighed. 

''If i'm being honest things aren't great at the minute'' i said, 

 

“How come?” She said.

 

''Let's just say... things at home aren't particularly good'' I said as i took a sip of tea, 

 

''Why what's wrong?'' mum asked concern colouring her voice ''Is it you?'' 

 

''No not exactly'' I said, 

 

”Is It Liv?” she asked.

 

I shook my head, 

 

''No Liv's fine'' I said. 

 

mum nodded 

''Oh ok'' she said

 

“Is it Robert?” mum said.

 

I sighed. 

“Yeah” I Said,

 

''What's wrong with him?'' she said. 

 

''I don't know?'' i said ''He's been acting really weird lately'' 

 

''When you say weird?'' mum said raising an eyebrow, 

 

''I don't know'' i said ''he just hasn't been himself lately, he's just really irritable. like if you talk to him he tends to be 

very snappy and he's also really moody is well'' 

 

''Have you tried talking to him about it?'' she said, 

 

''Yes i have tried. but every time i ask him what's wrong, he just brushes me off

and tells me that he's fine'' I said. 

 

''Do you know what... just keep an eye on him'' mum said, 

 

''yeah i think your right'' i said.  

 

mum nodded 

 

''Thanks mum'' I said. 

 

''Anytime love'' she said ''Anytime'' 

 

We just sat, we drank our tea, and we talked for a little while longer.  

 

Ten minutes later. we both stood up from the sofa, and we hugged each other for a moment. 

after a minute we broke the hug and we pulled away from each other, 

 

We waved and said goodbyes to each other.  

 

 And then i walked out of the back room, and out of the back door. 

 

And then i started to walk back to the mill, 

 

 After a couple of minutes i was back at the mill. 

i walked down the driveway and to the front door, 

i opened the door and i walked inside. 

 

I looked around the room for Robert, but he was nowhere to be found. H'mmm i thought, 

he must be still asleep. 

 

I took my shoes off and coat off and then I traipsed up the stairs.

 to mine and Robert's room, 

i walked in to our bedroom. and i saw that Robert was

still curled up on the bed asleep, 

 

I quietly walk over to the bed and i sit down. being extra careful no to wake Robert up, 

 

I take my hand and i gently combed my fingers through his blonde hair, 

 And i just sat and watch him sleep. 

 

After a few minutes, i decided to watch some T.V, so i grabbed the remote off the bedside table. 

and i turned the T.V on, i skimmed through the channels and i put on an action movie.

 

I put the remote on the table beside me. i put my feet up on the bed and i led 

back against the headboard, 

 

Ten minutes later i felt some movement from beside me. i turned 

and i saw that Robert was awake, 

 

I looked down at him and smiled.  

 

 ''Hey sleepyhead'' I said ''Did you have a nice nap'' 

 

Robert nodded, 

''yeah it was alright'' he said. 

 

After a couple of minutes Robert got up from the bed. and he started to walk to the bathroom, 

 

''I'm going for a shower'' he said, 

 

I nodded. 

''Alright'' i said, 

 

And with that he walked out of the room. and i went back to watching

the T.V, 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter five

**Robert’s P.O.V.**

 

I was sat watching re-runs of the walking dead on the T.V, 

 

20 minutes into the episode, my thoughts started to go insane. 

 

_You're such a smartass you know that i thought. you think you know everything, but in reality you know jack shit_

 

_Your embarrassment you know that i thought. you should be ashamed of all things that you've done to people, but your not though are you..._

_in fact you don't even give a flying fuck about any of it,_

 

Tears threatened to fall. but i stopped them, 

 

I got up from the sofa.  I ran straight upstairs to the bathroom. I rummaged through the draw and I look for the razor,

once I found it. I walked over to the toilet and I sat down on the edge of it, 

i rolled up my sleeve. And I took a deep breath to make me feel more at ease, 

 

Suddenly my thought started to go weird again.  

 

 _You greedy bastard i thought. all you give a fuck about is money and having power over absolutely everything and everyone, you don't care about your friends, or your family,_ _or anybody for that matter, It's just all about you._

 

 I pressed the blade into into my skin. And I dragged the blade across my arm, 

 leaving a cut. blood seeped out of the cut and he ran down my arm, 

 

_Your a coward you know that i thought. your so weak and your so afraid of doing the wrong thing, because you don't want_

to disappoint anyone. i mean... seriously grow a pair, 

 

 I pressed the blade into my skin again. And I made a cut below the other one, 

 

I wiped all the blood from around my wounds. And then I threw the tissue in the bin, 

 

I stood up from where I was sat. I put the cover back on the blade, and I put it back in the draw. But I made sure that I hid it really well, so that know one else would fine it. Because they would only question me if they did, and I don’t really need that at the minute. 

 

I walked over to the kitchen. And I get a big bag of crisps, a bar of chocolate, and pack of biscuits out of the cupboard. I put it all down on the table, I sit down. And then I just pig out until I can’t eat anymore, 

 

Once I had finished my little pigging out session. I put all the rubbish in the bin, and then I went and led on the sofa for a while. I didn’t turn the T.V on or anything as I just wanted to sleep, 

 

So I led down on the sofa. I put my feet up and I drifted off to sleep,

 

—————————————————————

 

I opened my eyes. and I blinked as I waited my eyes to adjust to the light, 

after a few seconds. I was fully awake, 

I sat up on the sofa. I decided to put the T.V on, I picked up the remote and I turned the T.V on. I skimmed through the channels and I put on some action movie, 

40 minutes into the movie. I felt the need to be sick. I ran upstairs to the bathroom. I collapsed to my knees, I shoved two fingers down my throat. And I retched into the toilet,  

 A couple of minutes later. I stopped retching into the toilet,

i stood up from the bathroom floor, I wiped away all the sick from around my mouth, I threw the tissue in the toilet and then I flushed it.

 I went back downstairs, I put my shoes on. And I walked out of the front door, 

 

Once I was outside. I shut the door and then I locked it behind me, 

 

After I had done that. I walked up the driveway and I made a beeline for David’s. 

 

After a couple of minutes I arrived at the shop, I walked inside and I brought: a bottle of vodka a six pack of beer, and some biscuits. Some chocolate, and a couple of bags of crisps. 

Once I had got what I came for, I walked up to the till. And I put everything down by the cash register, 

 

David scanned what I brought and i put it into a carrier bag 

 

”That’ll be $17.72 please” David Said,

 

i got my wallet out and then I gave the money to David.

 

i put my wallet back in my pocket, and i picked up my shopping, 

 

I walked out of David’s and I walked up the track and to the cricket pavilion. Once I got there I walked up the steps, and I sat down on the bench. I put the Carrier bag on the bench beside me, I got out the bottle of vodka. I opened it, and I started to drink the contents of the bottle.  

 

** Aaron’s P.O.V.   **

 

I was in the kitchen making myself a cup of tea. once i had done that, i picked up

the cup. and i walked over to the living room, 

 

I put my tea down on the coffee table. and then i sat down, 

 

I picked up my tea. and i took a sip before setting it down again, 

 

Suddenly The  door opened and a drunk Robert stumbled in. Great here we go again I thought, 

 

I took a deep breath to keep myself calm. but it didn't work, 

 

i stood up from the sofa. and i walked over to Robert, 

 

Anger coarsed through my veins, 

 “Your drunk again” I yelled. annoyance evident in my voice. 

 

Robert narrowed his eyes into slits, 

''Sh'up'' he slurred drunkely, before taking another sip of vodka. 

 

''Hey'' I said sternly ''Don't you dare tell me to shut up'' 

 

Robert rolled his eyes,

''I can do whatever i want'' he said. and took another sip of vodka, 

 

''No you can't not'' I said, 

 

''Uh.. yeah i can'' he responded drunkenly. 

 

''No you can't actually'' I said, 

 

''Sh'up Aa-ron'' he slurred. 

 

I closed my eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, tonight's going to be a long night i thought. 

 

I walked over to Robert and i stood in front of him, my arms folded

over my chest. 

 

''Hand it over Robert'' i said referring to the alcohol in his hand, 

 

He didn't listen. instead he just took another swig of vodka, 

 

 ''Give me the alcohol Robert'' I repeated, starting to impatient now. 

 

''D-on't y-ou tell' me what to do'' He slurred drunkenly, 

 

''I'm only doing this because i care about you Robert'' I said. 

 

Robert scoffed 

''Y-ou do-n't c-are about me, you never have'' he slurred, 

 

I bit back the tears that were threatening to fall. 

 

''I course i care about you Robert your my husband'' i said, 

 

''Bullshit!'' he roared. 

 

''No... no it's no-'' i started to say but i got cut off, because Robert took the bottle of vodka that was in his hand,

he smashed it against the coffee table. making the contents of the bottle go all over the floor, 

 

he took the broken bottle in his hand. and he came after me with it, i was so anxious, i didn't know

 

what he was going to do with it, i was scared. i was so, so, scared, i thought he might cut me with it, 

 

Eventually he had me up against the wall, shoving the broken bottle right up against me, 

 

''Don't you fucking dare tell me what to do Aaron!'' he slurred darkly. as he moved the bottle back & forth 

in front of me, 

 

I didn't say anything. i just stayed where i was and i froze, 

 

Suddenly the front door opened. and Liv walked in, 

''Hey guy-'' she started to say but she stopped. Liv

stayed she was and she had a horrified look on her face, 

 

''Oh my god!'' Liv said her mouth hung open ''What are you doing?'' 

 

Robert slowly turned around and he looked at Liv, and then he looked back at me. 

he finally came to his senses, and he realised what he was doing, 

 

he dropped the broken bottle on the floor, he didn't say anything he just stumbled 

upstairs rather drunkenly and then disappeared out of sight, 

 

Liv made sure that Robert was out of earshot. and then he spoke up, 

 

“Are you okay?” Liv asked.

 

I nodded, 

 

“Yeah I’m good” I Said. my voice cracking slightly, 

 

Liv furrowed her eyebrows. 

“Are you sure?” Liv asked.

 

 I nodded. and a rogue tear slipped down my cheek, 

 

”What’s wrong with Robert?” Liv asked.

 

I shook my head and sniffed 

“I don’t know” I Said “I really don’t know, he’s been like this for a couple of days” 

 

“Have you tried talking to him” Liv suggested. 

 

I nodded, 

”Yeah I have” I Said “but every time I ask him if he’s ok, he’s just says that he’s fine and he tells me to stop worrying” 

 

“Do you think he’s just saying that because he doesn’t want you to worry” Liv Said. “Because from where I’m standing he’s clearly not fine” 

 

“Yeah your right” I Said “But I don’t really know what to do you know, I mean... I try to get him to talk to me, but he just pushes me away” 

 

My breath hitched in my throat, And then i just completely break down, and burst into tears. 

 

 Liv comes over and pulled me into a hug. 

 

''It's going to be okay you know'' She said, 

 

I sniffed and shook my head. 

''Is it though... Liv is it?'' i said my voice thick with tears, 

 

''yeah it is'' She said ''he just needs time'' 

 

 I nodded, 

''Yeah i think your right'' i said my voice still thick from crying. 

 

Liv nodded, 

''Course i am'' she said ''he'll be fine in a couple of days trust me'' 

 

I nodded, 

''Yeah'' I said, 

 

''Good'' She said. and then she broke the hug and we

pulled away from each, 

 

''Thanks Liv'' i said. 

 

Liv smiled,  

 

''Anytime'' She said,   

 

I smiled back at her, 

 

And with that she walked up to her room,

 

After a while. i stopped crying and my breathing had returned to normal, 

 

 I walked over to the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea. And then I sat down at the table,

 

i pick my coffee up and i took a sip of it. before putting it down again, 

 

I really don’t know what to fucking do. Robert’s been acting really weird lately, I don’t know why he’s acting like he is. but what do know is, This kind of behaviour isn’t really like him at all. He’s drinking so much, and he being really violent. And he’s really irritable all the time, and to be honest I’m really concerned about his wellbeing.

 

 I finish up my coffee. And then I discard the cup in the sink.

 

I casually walk over to the living room, and i sit down on the sofa. i pick up the remote and i

turn the T.V on, i flicked through the channels and i put on Two and a half men. 

 

Once i had done that, i put the remote down beside me, and i focus my attention on the T.V, 

 

 Half an hour later the episode finishes and the credits roll. 

 

I stood up from the sofa and i decide to go to have a shower. Once I’d done that,

I chilled out on the sofa. And watched re-runs of breaking bad, 

 

After four episode. i stood up from the sofa, and ordered takeaway as it was late, 

 

Dinner arrived and i brought it into the kitchen, and plated it up. 

 

Once i had done that i called Liv downstairs, and she came and got her food, 

 

 We ate at the table. and we talked about different topics of interest, 

 

After dinner Liv went back up to her room. 

 

I picked up Robert's food, and i went upstairs to our shared room, 

 

I entered the room and i walked in. and i saw that Robert was sound asleep,

i walked over to the bed. and i put the plate down on the beside table, 

and i sat down on the bed beside Robert. 

 

I gently shook him awake,

 

''M'mmm what do you want'' he said his voice still thick with sleep. 

 

''I brought you food'' i said, 

 

''Don't want it'' Robert said. 

 

''You have to eat something'' i said, 

 

''Like i said i don't want it'' Robert responded. 

 

I let out an exasperated sigh in response, 

''Please'' i said ''just a little'' 

 

''Alright fine'' Robert said, 

 

Once he had woken up a bit. Robert pulled himself up into a sitting position, 

 

I handed him the plate, and he about a quarter of the meal before decided that was enough. 

 

I stood up from the bed. i took the plate with me and i walked out of the room. 

 

** Robert's P.O.V.  **

 

Suddenly i felt the need to be sick. i stood up from the bed,  i dashed straight to

the bathroom, and i collapsed to my knees. i shoved two fingers down my throat, 

and i heaved into the toilet. 

 

After a minute. i had stopped heaving into the toilet, 

 

i stood up from the floor, my legs wobbling as i did so, 

i wiped away all the sick from around my mouth. i threw

the tissue in the toilet and then i flushed it, 

 

i brushed my teeth. i went to the toilet, and then i walked back into the bedroom. 

 

''You okay?'' Aaron asked. 

 

''Yeah i'm good'' I said, 

 

''that's good'' Aaron said.

 

I lied, i wasn't good at all. in fact i was far from it, but i 

wasn't going to tell Aaron that though.. 

 

Aaron walked off to the bathroom. and he went and did what he needed to in there, 

 

meanwhile i stripped down to my boxers. and i got into bed, 

 

Aaron came back in the room he done the same and then he climbed into bed beside me, 

 

We led down and then we both drifted off to sleep. 

 


	6. Chapter six

 

 

** Robert's P.O.V. **

 

 I was sat at the kitchen table. doing some work on my laptop, and 

i was also going over the accounts and i was also ringing clients, and making phone calls. 

among other things..

 

An hour later i had finished doing the work that i needed to do, as well as making phone calls 

to clients and various other people, 

 

Suddenly i felt a strong craving for alcohol. and also something sweet, 

So i went to the shop. but not before putting away my laptop and all my other bits and pieces, 

 

 Once i had put all that away, I put my shoes and coat on and then i walked out of the door, i locked the door behind me. 

and then i made a beeline for David's shop, 

 

One minute later i was at the shop. i walked inside 

and i got a six pack of beer, and tub of ice cream.

 

 Once i got what i came for, i walked to the till, 

i put my things down by the cash register. 

 

David scanned what i brought. and he put it in a bag, 

''That'll be £8.01 please'' he said. 

 

I took my wallet out of my pocket. i got the money out, and i handed it over 

to David. 

 

I put my wallet back in my pocket, i picked up my shopping. and i 

walked out of the shop, 

 

And i made my way back to the mill. 

 

 After a minute's walk, i arrived at the mill, 

 

I walked down the driveway. and i made my way down the path to the front door.

 

Once i got there i took the keys out of my pocket and i unlocked

the front door, 

 

 I walked in through the door. i took my shoes and coat off, and then i walked over to the kitchen. 

And I dumped the bag on the side, 

i took everything out of the bag.  I put the ice cream in the freezer, to have later. 

 And I put the six pack on the side, 

I picked up one can of beer, and i walked over to the living room.

i sat down on the sofa, i turned the T.V on, and i put on some action movie,

 

I opened one of the can and i took a sip of beer, before putting it down

on the coffee table. 

 

About 3 quarters of the way through the movie, my thoughts stared to race.  

 

You cynical cunt I thought. All you care about is getting to the top, you don’t care if you hurt anyone along th way. because you are too caught up in yourself to even give a fuck about anyone else, aren’t you? 

 

You gloomy twat i thought. your like a rain-cloud you know that, because all you ever do is follow people around and make them miserable by raining on their happiness and joyful spirit.  

 

And I ran upstairs to the bathroom. I rummaged through the draw, and I got out the razor. I walked over to the toilet and I perched on the edge of it, 

 

I took a deep breath and I rolled up my sleeve.

 

 You dishonest prick i thought. all you do is lie through your fucking teeth, you never, ever tell the truth do you. 

would it ever kill you to tell the truth, Uh.... no it wouldn't, 

 

 i pressed the blade into my skin. And I dragged the blade across my arm, making a cut. 

blood trickled out of the wound and it drizzled down my arm, 

 You impatient fuck I thought. You can’t wait for anything can you? Erm... No you can’t...

It all has to happen right then and there or 

It doesn’t happen at all. And when you don’t get your own way you go off on people, like no tomorrow. 

 I pressed the blade into my arm again, and I pulled the razor across my arm. leaving a cut, 

blood seeped out of the wound and it ran down my arm. 

 

I ripped off some toilet roll and wiped all the blood from around my wounds. once i 

was done i threw the tissue in the toilet and then i flushed it, 

 

I walked out of the bathroom and i went downstairs. 

 

 Once i was downstairs i walked over to the freezer, and i got out a tub of ice cream. 

i got a spoon out of the draw, i sat at the table and i just ate the entire contents  

of the tub. 

 

Once i had finished eating the tub of ice cream. i discarded the tub in the bin, and 

then i decided to watch some T.V. 

 

I walked over to the living room, and i sat down on the sofa, i picked up

the remote and i turned the T.V on, i skimmed through the channels. 

and i decided to put on re-runs of friends, 

 Fifteen minutes into the second episode

 i felt the need to be sick. i stood up from where i was sat, and i ran

upstairs to the bathroom. i collapsed to my knees, i shoved two fingers

down my throat and i expelled my stomach contents into the toilet, 

 

After couple of minutes i had stopped emptying my stomach contents 

into the toilet. i stood up from the floor, my legs trembling as i did so. 

 

I ripped off some toilet roll and i wiped all the sick from around my mouth, 

i threw the tissue in the toilet. and then i flushed it, 

 

Once i did that i walked out of the bathroom. and i went downstairs. 

i walked over to the kitchen, and i got a glass of water. 

 

Once i done that, I leaned back against the counter and i drank the contents of the glass.  

 

After a minute, if that. i drank the entire contents of the glass, 

i put the glass in the sink, 

 

And i started to make my way over to the living room, 

but as i did. the front door opened and Liv walked in, 

 

 ''Hey'' Liv said. as she dumped her bag down by 

the sofa. 

 

I turned on my heel and i faced Liv, 

''Hey'' i responded, 

 

''You alright'' Liv said. 

 

I nodded,

''Yeah'' i said. 

 

Liv nodded' 

''good'' she said, 

 

 

Suddenly Aaron walked in through the door,

 

''Hey you both alright'' he said. 

 

I nodded, 

''Yeah i'm good. 

 

Liv nodded just after, 

''Yeah same here'' she said, 

 

Aaron smiled. 

''That's great'' he said, 

 

Aaron walked over to me, and he put his hands just above

my elbows. and he stared right into my eyes, his eyes were full

of love and passion. 

 

''I love you'' he said, 

 

i smiled back at him.

''I love you too'' i said. 

 

And with that, I leaned into Aaron. Aaron leaned into me, 

and we kissed, 

 

Liv screwed her face.

''Erghhh.. get a room you two'' she said, 

 

''We already have one'' Aaron said, 

 

''Yeah well... get another'' she said. 

 

I laughed, 

''Ha ha very funny'' i said sarcastically. 

 

''Yeah well.. you know me'' Liv said ''I'm always joking around'' 

 

Aaron let out a breathy laugh, 

 

''Yeah... i'm not going to argue with that'' he said amusement in his voice.

 

Liv rolled her eyes and folded her arms,

''Whatever'' she said. 

 

Both men laughed in repsonse,

 

The room went quiet for a moment, and then Liv spoke up. 

 

''What are we doing for dinner?'' she said, 

 

Aaron thought for a moment and then he spoke up. 

 “Hey do you want to go to the pub” he Said, 

 

Me and Liv nodded. 

''Yeah sure why not?'' we both said in unison, 

 

Aaron smiled. 

''Great'' he said happily,  

 

We all stood up from the sofa. and we started to walk to the front door. 

 on the way i grabbed my coat off the hook and then we all walked out of the house, 

once we were outside i locked the door. 

 

and we made a beeline for the woolpack, 

 

After a couple of minutes we arrived at the woolpack.  

 

Me, Aaron and Liv walked up the steps and

we made our way inside, 

 

 

**Aaron's P.O.V. **

 

 

Once we got inside and we walked straight to the bar, and i 

was greeted by my mum. 

 

“Hi love” Chas said, 

 

“Hey” I Said. 

 

''How are you all'' Chas said, 

 

Robert and Liv nodded.

''Yeah we're good'' they both said in unison, 

 

Chas nodded 

''That's good'' she said. 

 

There was a moment of silence, before Chas spoke again.  

 

''Right what i can get you all'' Chas said, 

 

“I have a pint please” I Said

 

“Ok what about you Rob” Chas said

 

“Um... I’ll have the same” Robert Said

 

Chas nodded  
“Ok” She said “And what about Liv?”

 

“I just have a lemonade” Liv Said,

 

Once we all had our drinks. we found a table, and then we sat down. 

 

A couple of minutes later Vic came over,

 

 “Right What are you all having?” she Said,

 

I thought for a moment and then i spoke up

 

 “I’ll have a Chicken curry please Vic” I Said.

 

Vic nodded, and scribbled on down on the notepad. 

 

”Ok” she said “What about you Liv?” 

 

“Uh... I’ll have a burger with chips please” Liv Said.

 

Vic nodded and scribbled on the notepad 

 

“And last But not least. What about you Rob?” she said,

 

“I’ll just have a salad” Robert said. 

 

Vic nodded and wrote on the notepad, 

 

 once she had done that, she closed the notepad, 

 

''It'll be about eight minutes'' She said, 

 

we all nodded in response. 

 

Me, Aaron and Liv just sat at the table and we 

talked about different topics of interest 

like: the latest movies, which ones we like better than other, 

the internet, what apps they used and didn't. and things like that, 

 

 Eight minutes later Vic and Marlon walked out of the kitchen with the food. Vic was carrying two plates and

Marlon was carrying one, 

 

''Chicken curry'' Vic said.

 

''Yes that's me'' I said, 

 

Vic put the plate down in front of me. 

 

''thank you'' i said, 

 

''burger and chips'' Marlon said. 

 

Liv nodded,

 

''Yes that'll be me'' she said. 

 

Marlon came over to the table and he put Liv food's down in front of her

 

''Thanks'' she said.

 

''Salad'' Marlon said, 

 

Robert nodded.

''Yes that's me'' he said, 

 

Marlon put Robert's food down in front of him.

 

''Thanks'' he said,

 

Once we all had our food. we dug in,  

 

And Vic and Marlon walked off in the direction of the kitchen. 

 

Conversation at the table, was pretty much non-existent. nobody

really said anything as were all busy eating, 

 

but that isn't what was bother me. what was bother me was, 

the fact that Robert was acting really strangely. 

 

''Are you okay Rob'' I asked, 

 

Robert shrugged. 

''Yeah why wouldn't i be?'' he said, 

 

''Well.. you've been awfully quiet that's all?'' i said 

 

 ''Yeah well... i'm fine'' he said ''so you can get off your fucking high horse

and quit your worrying'' 

 

''I'm your husband worrying about you is my job'' Aaron said, 

 

''Yeah course it is'' Robert said sarcastically. 

 

''Why do you say like that?'' I said, 

 

Robert shrugged. 

''It doesn't matter'' he responded coldly, 

 

''Uh... yes it does'' i said clearly frustrated, 

 

''Uh... no it doesn't'' Robert said. 

 

Liv had, had enough so she didn't to put a stop to this. 

''Guys stop will you!'' she said, ''Can we just eat a meal and not argue'' 

 

Me and Robert looked rather sheepish, 

 

I nodded.

''Yeah your right'' i said, 

 

Liv nodded. 

''Yeah of course i am'' she said, 

 

We ate the rest of the meal. in peace,

and the tension between us was so thick, you could 

cut a knife with it. 

 

After a few minutes we had finished our food and drinks, 

 

neither of us really said anything for moment. and then 

after a couple of minutes i spoke up, 

 

''I'm worried about you Robert'' i said suddenly.

 

''Why?'' Was all Robert said, 

 

''You just haven't been yourself lately that's all'' I said, 

 

And that was the final straw. Robert stood up from where he was sat, 

 

 “Shut up!” Robert yelled slamming his fist down on the table “Just shut the fuck up! you have no idea what it’s like, so don’t even try and guess what I’m going through because you literally have no idea” 

 

Everyone just stared. their eyes were wide and all their faces were full of shock, 

 He stood up from where he was sat. And he stormed out of the pub, 

 

“I’ll go after him” I said. I stood up from where I was sat, and I walked out of the pub. 

I looked for Robert and I noticed he was sat on a bench. 

I walked over and sat down on the bench next to Robert 

 

“Hey” I Said.

 

”Hey” Robert Said, 

 

“You okay” I asked my voice full of concern. 

 

Robert nodded timidly,

”Yeah I guess” he said. 

 

 There was a moment of silence and then Robert spoke up,

 

“Sorry about that” Robert said sheepishly. His face going as red as a tomato, ''I showed myself didn't i?'' 

 

I gave Robert a nervous smile,

''Truthfully'' he said.

 

Robert shifted awkwardly

''Yeah'' he said,

 

''Yeah you kind of did'' I said,

 

Robert grimaced.

''Eghhh... i can't believe i did that'' he said, 

 

I put my hand on Robert's arm. and gave him a sympathetic smile,

''hey... don't beat yourself about it'' i said ''I mean we've all flown of the handle before haven't we?''

 

Robert nodded.

''Yeah that's true'' he said, 

 

''Well then'' I said. 

 

They talked for a little while longer, and then Aaron stood up from where he was sat.  

 

 ''How about i go and get Liv and then we'll go'' I said. 

 

Robert looked over at me and he nodded, 

 

 I walked back inside. and i went to get Liv. 

 

 

  **Roberts P.O.V**

 

 

Less than a minute later Aaron walked out of the woolpack. Liv following closely 

behind him, 

 

And we started to make our way back to the mill. 

 

After a minutes walk, we arrived back at the mill. 

 

We walked down the driveway and we walked to the front door,

 

 Once we got there. I unlocked the front door,

and we started to walk inside. 

 

 Once we were inside. we all took our shoes and coats off, 

 

Liv went up to her room. leaving me and Aaron by ourselves.

 

 Aaron took his hand and gently stroked my arm, 

''You alright'' he said. 

 

I nodded, 

''Yeah i'm fine'' i said, 

 

''You sure?'' Aaron said. 

 

''Yeah i'm good'' I said, 

 

Aaron nodded.

''Alright as long as your sure'' he said,  

 

Suddenly i felt the need to throw up. 

 

so i ran upstairs, 

 

''Rob'' i heard Aaron say.

 

''Rob'' he said again,

 

 

But i didn't say anything i just carried on running.

 

 

I entered the bathroom, 

And I locked the door behind, I collapsed to my knees and I emptied my stomach contents into the toilet. 

After a couple of minutes I stopped expelling my stomach contents, 

 

i pulled myself up from the floor. My legs Shaking as I did so, 

I ripped off some toilet roll. And I wiped away all the sick from around my mouth,

 

i threw the tissue in the toilet and then I flushed it. 

 

I unlocked the door. And then I made my way out of the bathroom, 

As I walked across the landing. Aaron walked up to me,

”You feeling ok?” He asked, 

I nodded.

”Yeah I’m good” I Said.

 

Aaron nodded,

 

”I think I’m going to go and lie down” I Said.

 

''Are you sure your okay?'' Aaron asked, 

 

I nodded and then i yawned. 

''Yeah i'm just tired that's all'' i said, 

 

And with that. i made my way into the bedroom, i walked over to the bed 

and led down. 

 

and i started to nod off, but i heard footsteps coming into the room, 

and then some lied down behind me. i turned my head and

saw that it was Aaron, 

 

 I was going to speak, but Aaron stopped me, 

 

''Sssh'' he said ''Just go to sleep'' 

 

And with that he took his hand and he gently combed his fingers through my hair 

in a soothing manor, 

 

We stayed like that for a while. Aaron threading his fingers through my hair, 

while i just completely relaxed. 

 

After a couple of minutes my eyes started to get heavy, and i was

finding it hard to keep them open. 

 

I tried to fight it, but it was too hard,

so in the end i just gave in.  

 

And with that i drifted off to sleep, 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter seven

 

** Robert's P.O.V.  **

 

I was downstairs getting my things ready for work. i put everything that i need in my messenger bag, 

 like my laptop and charger and a couple of folder full of paperwork.

 

A couple of minutes later, Aaron walked down the stairs. 

 

''Morning'' I said, 

 

''Morning'' Aaron responded. 

 

''You okay?'' I said, 

 

Aaron nodded.

''Yeah i'm good'' he said, 

 

I smiled 

''that's good'' i said. 

 

the room went silent for a moment, and then i spoke up. 

 

''I love you'' I said, looking at Aaron

 

Aaron hummed in agreement. 

''I love you too'' he said, 

 

we stared into each other's eyes for moment. 

just admiring how beautiful the other one is, 

 

After a few seconds of this i leaned into Aaron. Aaron leaned into me, and we kissed. 

 

After a minute we broke the kiss and we pulled away from each other. 

 

Suddenly this rumbling sound,  

 

i furrowed my eyebrows.

''What was that?'' i said 

 

''Sorry'' Aaron said ''That was my stomach, i don't know about you but i'm absolutely starving'' 

 

''Hey let's go and grabbed something to eat at the cafe shall we?'' i said. 

 

Aaron nodded in agreement. 

 

 we both got our shoes and coats on, we both picked up our things. and then we walked out of the door. 

 

Robert locked the door behind him and then they made a beeline for the cafe'  

 

Once we got to the cafe. we both walked inside, and up to the counter, 

 

 ''I'll have an americano please Brenda'' Robert said. 

 

''Yeah and i'll have a coffee'' Aaron said, ''And a bacon bap''  

 

Brenda nodded.

''Ok'' she said ''That'll be £4.02''

 

Aaron went to get his wallet out, but i stopped him. 

 

and he gave me a confused look, 

 

''Let me'' i said. 

 

''You sure'' Aaron said ''i can pay if you want''

 

I shook my head, 

''No no i'll do it'' i said. 

 

i got my wallet out and i gave the money to Brenda, 

 

i put my wallet back in my pocket.  

 

and with that we walked over to the sofa. and we both sat down, 

 

A couple of minutes later Brenda came out with the bacon baps and 

the two coffees. 

 

They sat down, drank their coffees, 

Aaron ate his bacon bap. and talked for a little while. 

 

Five minutes later they had finished their coffees, 

and Aaron finished his bacon roll. 

 

Robert looked down at his watch. and he gasped 

''Fuck!'' he exclaimed 

 

Aaron furrowed his eyebrows 

''What's wrong?'' 

 

''We're late for work'' Robert said, 

 

Aaron bit down his lip  

''Shit'' he said 

 

''We should get going?'' Robert said, 

 

Aaron nodded in response. 

''Yeah we should'' he said, 

 

And with that. they ran out of the cafe, and walked back to the mill. 

 

Once they got there, we both got into my car.  

 we got their seatbelts on, i started the car up. 

and they sped off in the direction of the scrapyard, 

 

<<<<<<Skip the car ride>>>>>>>

 

They pulled up outside the portcabin. and Robert stopped the car, 

 

we both got out of the car, i got my stuff out of the back. and we walked into the portacabin, 

 

I walked over to my desk. I put my stuff down, and i take a seat on the computer chair. 

 

i picked my bag up off of the floor, i get my laptop out. and i put it on the desk,

 

I turned it on and i waited for it load. after few seconds it was on the homepage, 

 

i opened up a new document and i started to work, 

 

an hour and 10 minutes into what i was doing my thoughts started to race. 

 

_You naive bastard i thought. you judge other people and tell them that what their doing is wrong,_

_but in reality you know fucking zilch._

_You superficial cunt i thought. you never take anything you do seriously,_

 _everything is just a joke to you._  isn't it! 

 

''Robert!'' i heard someone say, 

 

''Robert'' they said again. 

 

 ''Robert earth to Robert'' Aaron called out, 

 

I snapped out of my daze. that i was in, 

 

''Uh... yeah'' I said 

 

''I was talking to you were you even paying attention'' Aaron said, 

 

''Sorry'' i said apologetically ''I was miles away'' 

 

Aaron furrowed his eyebrows and his smile faltered

''Are you okay'' he said deep concern in his voice. 

 

''You sure?'' Aaron said

 

''Yeah i'm good'' i responded kind of faking a smile, ''You don't have to worry about me'' 

 

Aaron nodded timdly. 

''Ok'' he said. kind of unsure, 

 

The room went silent for second and then i spoke up. 

 

''What were you asking me?'' i said, 

 

Aaron let out a frustrated sigh.

''I was asking you if you wanted Tea or coffee?'' he said a slight edge to his voice, 

 

''Coffee'' I said shortly. 

 

Aaron nodded, and he walked off to the kitchen area, 

 

 A couple of minutes later. Aaron came back with my coffee. 

 

He put it down on my desk, 

 

''Thanks'' i said. 

 

 ''Eh don't mention it'' he responded and then he walked out into the yard

and got to work on a car, 

 

 I picked up my coffee. i took a sip, i put it down again, 

 

And i carried on with my work. 

 

An hour and 20 minutes, 

 

The door opened and Aaron walked. 

 

''Alright?'' i said, 

 

''Yeah i'm fine'' he said. 

 

''Good'' i said, 

 

the room went silent for a second. and then i spoke up, 

 

''Taking a break are you?'' i said 

 

''Yeah i'm going to grab a bite to eat'' Aaron said, and he walked over

to his desk. and sat down, 

 

he opened his sandwich box. and he started to eat, 

 

After a minute he stopped and he looked at me. 

''Aren't you having anything?'' he said,

 

i shook my head.

''No i'm not hungry'' i said, 

 

''How come?'' Aaron said as he took a bite of his sandwich. 

 

I shrugged,

''I'm just not'' i said.

 

Aaron didn't say anything, he just gave me a look of concern.

 

Once Aaron had finished his lunch, he went back outside and continued to work on the car. 

that he was working on previously,

 

i turned back to my desk. and i carried on working, 

 

three hours later. we both decided to call it a day, 

we packed everything away. we picked up our stuff, we walked to the car.

and we both got in, we got our seatbelts on. i started the car up, 

and we sped off in the direction of the mill.

 

<<<<Skip the car ride>>>>

 

We pulled up on the drive, and i stopped the car, 

we both got out. i grabbed my stuff from the back, 

and i started to walk down to the front door.

 

''I'm going to the shop'' Aaron said ''We've run out of milk'' 

 

I nodded, 

''Alright. i said. 

 

And with that, he walked off in the other direction, 

 

While i made my way to the front door. 

 

Once i got there, i unlocked the door. and then i

walked inside, i put my bag down by the sofa,

 

I walked over to the kitchen, i grabbed three packets of crisps, 

And i sat down at the table. and i ate all three packets, 

 

once i had eaten all of them. i discarded the rubbish in the bin, 

 

i walked over to the living room. and i sat down on the sofa,

i turned the T.V on and i put on some comedy show, 

 

About 20 minutes into the show. i felt the need to be sick, 

 

i stood up from the sofa. and I ran upstairs straight to the bathroom. i collapsed to his knees, i shoved two fingers down  
my throat and i retched into the toilet.

 

A couple of minutes later he had stopped expelling his stomach contents into the toilet, 

 

he stood up from the bathroom floor, he ripped off some toilet roll. and he wiped away all 

the sick from around his mouth, once he was done

he threw the dirty tissue in the toilet and then he flushed it. 

 

He walked out of the bathroom, and he went back downstairs. 

 

 And i sat down on the sofa and relaxed, 

 

After a couple of minutes my thoughts went haywire. 

 

_You destructive Fucker i thought. you destroy anything and everything that is your path,_

_you try and fix things. but you end up making things 10 times worse_

_than they already are_

 

_You jealous twat i thought. you are never happy for anyone are you?_

_you are envious of other people and their achievements, can't you just_

_be supportive of others for once in your goddamn life._

 

 i ran upstairs to the bathroom. i rummaged through the draw and i looked for the razor, 

once he had found it. he walked over and he perched on the edge of the bathtub, 

 

i rolled up the left sleeve of my shirt. 

 

 he took a couple of deep breaths and he felt more at ease,  

 

_Your a waste of a human being you know that i thought. i mean look at you... you're ugly, your fat._

_your stupid, you're a liar. nobody likes you... because whenever you walk towards people_

_they walk the other way, because they can't even stand to look at you._

_even Aaron getting sick of you,_

 

Robert pressed the blade into his skin. and he dragged the blade across his arm, 

and it made a cut. blood seeped out of the wound and he ran down his arm, 

 

_Your a lost cause you know that i thought. everyone had given up on you ages ago,_

_because they were getting sick and tired of you and your arrogant, shellfish, pretentious ways._

 

Robert pressed the blade into his skin again. and he dragged it across his arm, 

making a cut. blood trickled out of the cut and it drizzled down his arm, 

 

Robert ripped off some toilet paper. and wiped away all the blood from around the wounds,  

 

Once he was done, he put the tissue in the toilet and then he flushed it.

 

i walked out of the bathroom and he went back downstairs.

 

 Once i got downstairs. i walked over to the kitchen, and i got out a bottle of vodka. 

i walked over to the sofa and i sat down,

 

I opened the bottle of vodka, and he drank the contents of the bottle. 

 

 A couple of minutes later The front door opened and Aaron walked in, 

 carrying a bag of shopping, he walked over to the kitchen and placed the bag on the worktop.

 

''Hey you alright'' Aaron said, 

 

''Sh'up'' i slurred as he took another sip of vodka 

 

 ''Have you been drinking!'' Aaron said his voice coloured with anger, but also with a hint of surprise.  

 

i hiccuped,

''N-no'' i said. 

 

Aaron walked over, he stood in front of me. and he looked down at me, 

''Stop lying Robert'' he said. 

 

''I-i'm n-ot'' i slurred, 

 

Aaron pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger, 

and he closed his eyes in frustration. 

 

''Yes you are Robert'' Aaron said ''In fact i can smell the alcohol on your breath'' 

 

''N-no'' I slurred, 

 

Aaron came towards me. and he tried to take the bottle off of me, 

 

 ''Give me the bottle Robert!'' Aaron said. 

 

i hiccuped again,

''D-on't tell me w-hat t-to do'' i slurred. 

 

 Aaron rolled his eyes in response, 

''Give me the damn bottle Robert!'' he repeated

 

''M-m-ake me'' I slurred drunkly

 

Aaron had a frustrated look on his face

''Oh i'll make you alright...'' he muttered, 

 

 And he tried to take the bottle off of me once again. 

 

but I managed to push him away from me, i stood up from the sofa. 

nearly falling over in the process, 

 

and i began to walk away from Aaron and walked towards the kitchen. 

 

Aaron turned on his heel and followed me, 

 

Once i got to the kitchen. i stopped in my tracks, 

 

Aaron walked from behind me. he stood in front of me and he had a serious look on his face. 

 

''Give me the bottle Robert'' he said once again. 

 

I shook my head timidly, 

''N-ope'' i slurred.

 

Aaron sighed in annoyance. 

''Give it to me now Robert!'' he said, 

 

I smiled drunkenly,

''Oh y-ou wa-nt this'' i slurred.  

 

Aaron let out an exasperated sigh, as he could feel his patience running thin. 

''Yeah give it to me Robert'' he said impatiently, 

 

i moved the bottle back & forth in front of Aaron. 

and he reached for it and tried to get hold of it,  

 

After a few more seconds of this, i took the that was in my hand bottle and i threw it at the wall.

the glass smashing as it did so, the contents of the bottle ran down the wall. staining the wall a dark grey colour, 

 

 Aaron turned to me and gave me a stern look, 

''What the fuck Robert!'' he yelled 

 

i didn't answer, he just walked away. 

 

''Don't walk away from me when i'm talking to you'' Aaron shouted, 

 

''Robert!'' he called out ''Robert!'' 

 

I didn't say anything. i just ignored him. and carried on walking up the stairs,

 

i entered our shared room. and i walked over to the bed, 

I sat down. and i led against the headboard, 

 

A couple of minutes later. Aaron entered the room,

and he looked as pissed as ever, 

 

he walked over to the bed and he sat down.

 

''What the fuck's your problem Robert'' Aaron yelled angrily, 

 

''I don't have a problem'' i said. ''Your the one that has a problem'' 

 

Aaron rolled his eyes and he shook his head in frustration. 

''I'm being serious Robert'' he said

 

i rolled my eyes in response.

''I don't have time for this'' i said frustratedly, 

 

''What do you mean you don't have time for this?'' Aaron said. 

 

''like i said i don't have time for this'' i said,  

 

The angered Aaron even further. 

 

''Robert!'' he yelled, 

 

i didn't say anything, i just led down. 

i faced the wall, and ignored him

 

''Robert!'' he yelled impatiently ''Robert answer me!''

 

i still didn't respond, i just continued to ignore him.

and waited for sleep to come over me, 

 

After a couple of seconds my eyes closed and i went to sleep. 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter eight

 

 

** Robert's P.O.V **

 

Robert opened his eyes. and i blinked as i waited for my eyes to adjust to the light, 

Once i was fully awake. i pulled myself up into a sitting position, and i stretched my arms above my head. 

after that i pulled the covers off of myself and i got out of bed, i got dressed and i then i made my way downstairs. 

 

Once i got downstairs. i walked over to the kitchen, and i took some painkillers,

after that i started to make myself a cup of coffee. 

 

Aaron turned to face me, 

''Oh it lives'' he said sarcastically.  

 

''Stop yelling'' I said ''My head's pounding''

 

Aaron scoffed,

 ''Yeah and you've only got yourself to blame for that'' he said, 

 

I rolled my eyes in response.

''Yeah don't you think i already know that'' I fired back. 

 

 ''I'm not saying you don't'' Aaron responded ''I just reminding you that's all'' 

 

''Yeah well... i don't need you too'' I said sarcastically, 

 

''Yeah well... i beg to differ'' Aaron said ''You so off your face all time, i'd be amazed if you can remember your name'' 

 

I rolled my eyes and i finished off making my coffee. once i had done that. i walked over to the table, 

and i took a seat opposite my husband. 

 

After a few minutes Aaron spoke up,

 

''Right we need to talk'' he said. 

 

''Do we?'' i said kind of deadpan, as i took a sip of coffee. 

 

Aaron rolled his eyes, 

''You know we do'' he responded, 

 

I let out an exasperated sigh. 

''Alright fine'' i said my voice full of annoyance, i paused for second and then i spoke again.

 

''Ok what did you want to talk about'' I said, another sip of coffee. 

 

''So do you remember anything that happened last night?'' Aaron said,

 

Suddenly my stomach churned violently, and i could feel my stomach contents coming up my throat. 

 

''Hold that thought-'' i said and with that. i put my coffee down on the table, i stood up from the table, 

 

and i ran upstairs and he went straight to the bathroom, 

 

he walked over to the toilet, he collapsed to his knees. and he retched

into the toilet, 

 

After a couple of minutes he stopped expelling his stomach contents, he stood up from the floor,

his legs trembling as he did so. 

 

he wiped away all the sick from around his mouth, he threw the tissue into the toilet.

and then he flushed it, 

 

I walked out of the bathroom. and i walked back downstairs, 

 and i was met with an angry looking Aaron. 

 

 ''Sit'' he said pointing to the sofa. 

 

  ''You can't tell me what to do'' I yelled, 

 

 Aaron let out an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes. 

 ''Just sit down Robert'' he said his voice full frustration, 

 

  I let out an exasperated sigh, and i reluctantly sat down on the sofa. 

 

''I'm going take off from where we lift it before'' Aaron said, 

 

''Ok'' was all i said, 

 

''Do you remember what happened last night?'' Aaron said. 

 

I shrugged, 

''No not really'' i responded. 

  

''Well that's just great that is...'' Aaron said sarcastically, 

 

I furrowed my eyebrows. 

''Why?'' i questioned, 

 

''I just wanted to know'' Aaron said. 

 

''Oh do you?'' i said ''Well... sorry i don't'' 

 

''So.. you don't remember throwing a bottle at the wall then?'' Aaron said,

 

I threw my arms up in the air.

''What the hell is this twenty questions'' i responded sassily, 

 

Aaron rolled his eyes in response. 

''Just answer the damn question Robert'' he said, he paused for second and then he

spoke again ''Do you or don't you?''

 

I threw hands up in the air, i stood up from the sofa. and i walked towards, 

 

''Don't walk away from me when i'm talking to you?'' Aaron shouted. 

 

I didn't respond, i just ran upstairs and straight to the bathroom 

 

I entered the bathroom. he locked the door behind him. 

he walked over to the sink, he rummaged through the draw. 

and he got out the razor, he walked over and he

sat down on the toilet. he rolled the sleeve of his jumper up, 

 

I took a couple of deep breaths. and then he felt more at ease, 

 

_You indecisive bastard i thought. you can't decide on anything you know that, everytime you go to make a decision._

you always doubt yourself and wonder if the decision your making is the right one, 

 

 I pressed the blade into my skin and i dragged it across my arm, 

leaving a cut. blood seeped out of the cut and it ran down my arm, 

 

 _You childish twat i thought. You seriously need to grow the fuck up, and stop acting so immature all the goddamn time._  

 

I dug the blade into my skin again. and i pulled it across my arm, and i made a cut just above the other one.  

blood ran out of the cut. and it trickled down my arm, 

 

i stood up from where i was sat. 

 

 I ripped off some toilet roll. i wiped all the blood from around my wounds, and i threw the tissue in the toilet

and then i flushed it,  

 

i put the cover back on the blade,  i put the razor back in the draw, but i hid really good

so that Know one else would find it. 

 

After that i unlocked the bathroom, and i made my way back downstairs, 

 

Once i got downstairs, and i made my way over to the front door. 

''Where do you think you're think your going?'' Aaron said bluntly, 

 

''I'm going out'' I said. 

 

Aaron hand his hands on his hips, 

''Oh are you now?''

 

I nodded, 

''Yes i am'' i responded sassily. 

 

Aaron walked in front of me and he blocked the door, 

 

''Get out of my way!'' i shouted. 

 

Aaron shook his head in response, 

''No i will not'' he said ''I don't want you going out, and getting hammered again'' 

 

''I'm not'' i responded bluntly. 

 

''I don't believe you'' Aaron said, 

 

''Why not i'm telling the truth'' I said frustration evident in my voice. 

 

''I'm not sure what to believe anymore'' Aaron said, 

 

''Yeah well... you can believe whatever the fuck you like'' i said

 

and with that , i grabbed my leather jacket off the hook. and then i walked out of the door, 

 

Once i was outside i started to walked up the driveway. but as i did. Aaron chased after me, 

 

''Where do you think you're going?'' he said sternly. 

 

''Like i said i'm going out'' I said bitterly, 

 

''Yeah but where to Robert'' he said. 

 

I shrugged nonchalantly, 

''I doesn't matter'' i said. 

 

''Uh.. yeah it does'' Aaron yelled, 

 

''No it doesn't'' i said. and with that i walked away from Aaron 

and continued to walk up the driveway, 

 

Aaron caught up to me again. and he pulled my arm, and i took it off of me. 

 

''Robert i asked you question and i want an answer'' Aaron said,

 

''It's none of business'' I fired back. 

 

''I'll be the judge of that'' Aaron said, 

 

''Like i told you it's none of your business''' i screamed. 

 

''It is if i make it my business'' Aaron responded, 

 

 I pushed Aaron away from me. and he fell back onto the gravel, with a thud.

 

I walked off and i proceeded towards the gate. and then from there

i made my way towards the shop, 

 

Once i got to the shop i walked inside. 

 

i brought some a six pack, and a couple of pack of biscuits, 

 

and then i made my way towards the till. 

 

i put my stuff down by the till, and then Matty scanned what i brought. 

 

Once he did that, he put it all in a carrier bag. 

 

''That'll be £7.78 please'' Matty said, 

 

I took my wallet out of my pocket. i took the money out,

and i gave it to Matty. 

 

I put my wallet back in pocket, i picked up my shopping and i walked out of the shop. 

 

I walked up to the cricket pavillion, and i sit down on the bench, and i dump the carrier bag down beside me. 

 

i open up a can of beer, a pack of biscuits,

 

and i just sit and drink the beer. and scoff a pack of biscuits, as i just looked at the view of the yorkshire dales. 

 

After about 20 minutes of watching the view.

 

i felt the need to be sick, i put my beer down on the ground. and i run down the steps of the pavillion, 

 

 i ran over to the bushes. bent over and i vomited violently, 

 

after a minute, i stopped emptying my stomach contents into the foliage, 

 

i pulled my upright from where i was hunched over the bushes. and i walked back up the steps, i sit down on the bench. 

and i continue to drink the six pack of beers i brought, 

 

I'm not going home. i'm just going to sit here, because i can't put up with Aaron's constant nagging, because it's driving me mad. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter nine

 

 I walked down the stairs, i had just had a bath, Aaron wasn't here he left for work a while ago, 

i rounded the bottom of the stairs. and then a couple seconds after that I made my way over to the kitchen.

i got a whole tub of ice cream, and a pack of maltesers. 

I sat down at the table, and i just stuff my face, till i couldn't eat anymore. 

 

Afterwards i put all the rubbish in the bin, and then i walked over to the living room. 

 

i sat down on the sofa, and i turned the T.V on, i skimmed through the channels and i

put on two and a half men, 

 

once i had done that, i took the T.V remote and i threw down on the sofa, 

 

I led down. i put my feet up, and i just watched the T.V, 

 

10 minutes later i felt the need to be sick, 

I ran upstairs straight to the bathroom, i entered the bathroom.

and i locked the door behind me, i collapsed to my knees And  
then i emptied my stomach contents into the toilet,

 

A couple of minutes later. i stopped expelling my stomach contents into the toilet,

 

I stood up from where i was on the floor, my legs shuddering as i did so. 

 

I ripped off some toilet roll, and i wiped away all the sick from around my mouth. 

once i had done that, i threw the tissue in the toilet and then i flushed it. 

 

 After that i unlocked the door and then i walked out of the bathroom, and i 

made my way downstairs. 

 

 Once i was downstairs. i made my way over to the kitchen, i didn't know what else to do. 

so i decided to tidy up the kitchen and the living room, and then clean everything, 

 

 Halfway through what i was doing my thoughts started to go haywire. 

 

You ruthless fucker i thought. you really don't give damn about anyone else do you eh? as long as your alright,

it doesn't really matter does it. 

 

You sadistic cunt i thought. do you take pleasure in hurting other people or humilating them do you? huh... do you??? 

 

I stood up from the sofa and i ran upstairs and went straight to bathroom,

i walked in, i ran over to the sink and i rummaged through the draws

for a razor, once i had found it. i walked over and he perched on the edge  
of the bathtub,

 

I rolled the left sleeve of my jumper up, i took a deep breath and  
then i felt more at ease,

 

You stingy twat i thought. all you do is take from people you know that, you never give back to everyone!

all you do is just take, take, take. personally i think you should be ashamed of yourself,

i mean... it's surprising your not behind bars, it really is...

 

I took the blade i pressed it into my arm. and then i dragged it across my skin leaving a cut, 

blood seeped out of the cut. and it ran down my arm, 

 

You unkind bastard i thought. everyone is so nice to you and yet all you do is treat them like Rubbish, 

i mean no wonder nobody wants anything to do with you, after the way you've treated them. 

 

I took the blade again and i pressed it into my arm, then i dragged it across my skin and i made a cut. 

Blood ran out of the cut and it trickled down my arm,  

 

I stood up from the bathtub. i got some toilet roll and i wiped away all the blood from around the wounds, 

 

Once i had done that, i put the cover back on the blade, and i put it back in the draw. but i hid it so no one else

could find it, 

 

 After that i walked out of the bathroom and i made my way downstairs. 

 

Once i got downstairs, i walked over to the kitchen. and i raided the liquor cabinet. for a bottle of whisky, 

 

I sat down on the sofa. and i just drank the whole contents of the bottle,

 

Some time later. i actually didn't know how long it was, but the front door opened and someone

walked in. 

 

They walked over to the living room, and they stood in front of me, i didn't really know who it was. 

until they started talking, becuase i was so dazed and my head was swimming from the drinking, 

 

''You alright'' Aaron said ''You like kind of out of it'' 

 

''M' fine'' I slurring a little, 

 

''Why can i smell alcohol on your breath?'' Aaron said. he paused for a moment and then he spoke again, 

''Have you been drinking again'' he said his voice full of annoyance, 

 

I hiccuped 

''N-no'' i slurred, 

 

Aaron rolled his eyes

''Yeah well... that's a lie'' he said. 

 

''N-no m' not lying''' I slurred, 

 

Aaron let out an exasperate sigh.

''Yeah course your not'' he said, 

 

I hiccuped again. 

''M' tell-ing the t-truth'' I slurred, 

 

''No your not Robert'' Aaron said ' i can smell alcohol on your breath, and you're slurring your words. so... we both no that's not true''

 

Fuck i thought, he's seen right though me. there's no way i'm getting away with this...

 

The room went silent for a second and then Aaron spoke up.

''So how much have you had?'' he said his voice full of seriousness. 

 

I look at Aaron, i didn't really saying anything. i just laughed, 

 

Aaron had a stern look on his face.

''How much have you had Robert?'' he said repeating what he said before, 

 

i burped.

''A whole bottle of whisky'' i said nervously. 

 

 Aaron let out an exasperated sigh in response, 

''Where's the bottle?'' Aaron said, 

 

i didn't respond,

 

''Where the fuck's the bottle Robert?'' he shouted  

 

I flinched slightly, 

''Here'' i said slurring. picking the bottle up that was in the corner of the sofa, 

 

Aaron took the bottle off of me, he walked over to the kitchen and he put it the recycling, 

once he did that, he walked back over, and he looked at me

 

''W-what?''i said

 

''Right tomorrow we're going to talk about this ok'' Aaron said firmly ''but not now because your far too wasted'' 

 

I let out an exasperated sigh, 

''Alright fine...'' i slurred. 

 

Aaron nodded,

''Good'' he said and then he sat down on the armchair opposite me. 

 

And we just sat on the sofa and watched T.V, 

 

I couldn't really concentrate, because i was kind of out of it, but i tried to watch it anyway...

 

Ten minutes later, Liv walked in through the door, she took her shoes and coat off. and 

then she walked over to the kitchen where she grabbed a can of coke, 

 

before joining us in the living room. 

 

''You alright'' i heard Aaron ask, 

 

''Yeah i'm good'' Liv said.

 

Aaron nodded,

''How was your day?'' he said. 

 

''It was alright'' Liv said ''i had to do a lot of course work, but it was alright'' 

 

Aaron nodded in response, 

''Cool'' he responded.  

 

 

The room went silence, nobody really said anything as we just sat and watched the T.V, 

 

45 minutes later we eat dinner, we had lasagne and garlic bread with salad, 

 

Once i had finished dinner i stood up from the table, and i ran upstairs to the bathroom.

i entered the bathroom, i collapsed to my knees and i retched into the toilet, 

 

A couple of minutes. i stopped expelling my stomach contents into toilet. 

 

i stood up from the floor, my legs shaking as i did so. 

 

i ripped off some toilet roll, and i wiped away all the sick from around my mouth. 

 

Once i did that. i threw the used tissue in the toilet, and then i flushed it, 

 

After that i unlocked the bathroom door and then i made my way back downstairs. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter ten

 

I was sat at my desk doing some work on my laptop and also doing some paperwork. Because I was busy ringing clients, planning, organising meeting, and doing spreadsheets and accounts for the haulage company.

While Aaron was just sat at his desk, fiddling with a random pencil. which just lay there on the desk, possibly used for some previous form or for scribbling something down quickly. 

After a few minutes, Aaron spoke up.

”Oh I need a cup of tea” he said. “Do you want one” 

I nodded.

”Yes” he said “but let me do it?” 

 

Aaron raised an eyebrow,

”You sure?” he said.

 

I nodded,

”Yeah” I Said.

 

Aaron nodded,

”Oh ok” he said.

 

And with that, I pulled myself up into a standing position. But as I did started to feel dizzy, but I just ignored it and made my way to the kitchen. 

suddenly a massive wave of dizziness washed over me, and i swayed a little. I grabbed onto the desk to support himself, Aaron looked up from what he was doing. And he furrowed his eyebrows slightly,

”Are you okay” he asked his voice filled with concern. 

 

I nodded,

”I just stood up too quickly that’s all” I said.

 

Aaron nodded.

Ok” he said, 

 

and he went back back to what he was doing. 

 

I let go of the desk. and I walked a few steps, suddenly my legs buckled and i fell to the floor. and then everything went black,  

———————————————————————

I heard a loud bang. I looked up from what I was doing, and I saw Robert on the floor unconscious. 

I stood up from my desk, 

“Robert!” I shouted as I ran over to where my husband was led. and I knelt down beside him, 

I shook him gently. 

“Rob! Rob!” I Said my voice full of panic “Robert wake up!” 

 

But there was no response,

tears started to roll down my cheeks.

”Rob please wake up” I pleaded “please” 

 

But nothing.

 

I picked my phone up off of my desk. And I dialled 999 and I put it up to my ear,

”Am... ambulance p-please” I Said my voice wobbling slightly as I spoke.

 

”I-its m-my husband h-he’s c-collapsed” i Said shakily. 

 

“I-i don’t know” I Said “I just looked down for a minute and then I looked up I saw that he was led on the floor and he was unconscious” 

 

“Emmerdale” I Said. 

 

I nodded, 

“Ok thanks” I Said.

 

And then I ended the call. 

Afterwards I went back to my husband, and I sat beside him. 

 

“It’s... it’s going to be okay Rob” I Said softly as I combed my fingers through his hair “An ambulance is on the way” 

 

And I just sat by him. And I gently combed my fingers through his hair, as I waited for the ambulance to arrive. 

 

10 minutes later. Sirens were heard and they got louder and louder which each passing second.

 

A couple of minutes later an ambulance pulled up outside the portacabin. And a couple of paramedics got out of the ambulance, and then they burst into the portacabin wheeling a stretcher between them.

 

They loaded Robert onto the stretcher. and then they took him out to the ambulance, 

 

I walked outside and I watched as my husband was being loaded into the ambulance.

 

Once he was loaded into the ambulance, i turned to one of the paramedics.

"Can i come or-" i said, 

 

"Yeah sure" one of the paramedics said, 

 

And with that i climbed into the ambulance. And i sat next to my husband, 

 

The engine started up. And then we sped off in the direction of the hospital, 

 

—————————————————————-

 

I was sat in the waiting room. Waiting for an update on my husband’s condition, but so far there hadn’t been one...

i stood up from where here I was sat. And I walked over to the coffee machine, I needed a coffee like real bad. I was having mixed emotions at the minute, I knew there was something wrong. I did, but instead I just brushed it off because I though nothings wrong with Robert he’s fine. bit on the other hand I had a feeling that something’s not right,  but told myself to stop thinking like that

 because I’m just going to drive myself to the brink of insanity. and I’m just going to lose the world to live, and that’s the last thing everyone needs right now is for me to end up in hospital too...

 

Suddenly a doctor walked down down the corridor and came towards us. 

 "Robert sugden’s family” he said,  

 

I nodded,

"Yes" i said. 

 

The doctor turned to me,

"What realation are you to mr sugden?" the he said. 

 

"I'm... im his husband" i said,

 

The doctor nodded. 

"Ok" he said, 

 

There was a second of silence and then the doctor spoke up.

”There’s an update on your husband’s condition” he said, 

 

 “How... how is he?" I asked, 

 

"Mr. Sugden's in a critical condition" the doctor said, "And he's seriously malnourished” 

 

“Malnourished?” I Said. 

 

The doctor nodded,

 

”Yeah, Mr. Sugden is malnourished because he hasn’t been eating anything?” 

 

My mouth hung open in shock. No he wouldn’t starve himself, he just wouldn’t do that, would he? 

 

“Mr Sugden also appears to have self inflicted scars on both of his arms” 

 

No! No! No! he’s not self harming he can’t be. I mean I would’ve noticed if he was, wouldn’t I.... 

 

There was a moment of silence and then I spoke up. 

 

 “Can i see him" i asked suddenly, 

 

 The doctor nodded

"Yes of course" he said "if you'll come with me" 

 

And with that, he led me to Robert's hospital room,  as i walked in i saw my husband led in a hospital bed. He looked so vulnerable, so helpless, and it just broke my heart to see him like that. it really did, 

 

 I walked over to where Robert was, I sat down in the chair next to Robert's hospital bed.

I took his hand in mine, and i gently caressed my thumb over his knuckles, 

 “I love you” I Said as a rogue tear slipped down my cheek “I love you so, so, much, you are my moon. my stars, my sky. my everything” 

i paused for for a moment and then I spoke again,

“please wake up Rob” I Said still stroking my thumb over his knuckles “please open those beautiful eyes for me, because I miss them so much” 

And then all these thoughts started to go through my head. 

what of if he never wakes up. What if I never see him again, what if... no, just no I’m not going to think like that. I can’t sit here thinking the worst possible outcome, I have to stay strong. For him and for myself, because Robert needs me now I have to be there for him and help him get through whatever this is... because he’s counting on me to be there for him and to support him any way I can... 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter eleven

 

**Aaron's P.O.V.**

 

I was sat in the chair in the Robert's hospital room. he's still in a coma, and he hasn't woken up yet, 

i looked over at Robert. he looked so peaceful led there, he looked so innocent. 

 

''Please wake up Rob'' i said ''i miss your laugh, your smile, and i even miss your smugness'' i paused

for second and then i spoke again

''So please, please open those eyes for me''

 

 Suddenly Robert's fingers moved and his eyes twitched a little 

 

 ''That's it Rob'' I said ''c'mon that's it, open those eyes for me'' 

 

 

** Robert's P.O.V. **

 

I opened my eyes, and i blinked a couple of times. as my eyes adjust to the light, 

 

''Aaron'' i said groggily, 

 

''Yes i'm here'' Aaron said reassuringly. 

 

I looked around a little and i was kind of confused 

''Where... where am i'' i said rather perplexed, 

 

Aaron took his thumb and his gently stroked mine. 

''You're in the hospital'' Aaron said, 

 

''Hospital?'' i said. 

 

Aaron nodded, 

''Yeah'' he said. 

 

''Why am i in the hospital?'' Robert said

 

 ''You... you fainted'' I said, 

 

 ''I... i fainted?'' Robert responded. 

 

Aaron nodded once again, 

''Yeah you did'' he said. 

 

 The room went silent for a moment, and then Aaron spoke up.

''Speaking of which'' he said ''how are you feeling'' 

 

Robert let out a groan,

''Like i've been hit by a bus'' he said. 

 

 Aaron gave Robert a sad smile and he stroked Robert's lower

arm gently, 

 

A couple of minutes later the doctor walked in. 

''Ah Mr. Sugden you're awake'' she said, writing something down a clipboard. 

 

Robert rolled his eyes

 ''Yes i am'' he said his voice filled with annoyance. ''as much as i don't want to be, i am'' 

 

The doctor nodded.

''I think good you're awake'' she said ''It means you're body's starting to recover''  

 

Robert didn't say anything he just rolled his eyes in response, 

 

After a minute Robert spoke up.

''When can i go home?'' he asked,

 

'You can't can't go home, your severely malnourished'' the doctor said, ''An you have an eating disorder, and you have to remain under supervision'' 

 

Robert scoffed, 

''I can if i want too'' he said his voice full of frustration. 

 

The doctor shook her head,

''No you can't, you need to stay here and rest'' 

 

''You can't make me'' Robert fired back. 

 

''Yes we can'' the doctor said, 

 

This angered Robert even further. 

''Let me out of here now!'' Robert screamed ''You will not keep me and harbour me against my own will' 

 

 ''Like i said before Mr. Sugden'' the doctor said ''you can't go home, you have an eating disorder and you need to rest and let your body recover'' 

 

Robert huffed in response,

''I'm fine'' he said. 

 

''Yes that maybe so...'' the doctor said ''but your body has suffered major trauma, because your severely malnourished,

because you've been starving yourself and body hasn't been getting the nutrients it's needs'' 

 

''I'm fine, i really am'' Robert said. ''So... if you don't mind, i'm going home''

 

And with that, he went to get out of bed. but Aaron and the doctor stopped him, 

 

''You're not going anywhere'' the doctor said ''unless it's to go to the bathroom'' 

 

Robert huffed again, 

''This is so unfair'' he said. 

 

''You have to stay in bed Mr. Sugden'' the doctor said ''If you need anything just ask, or press the button down beside you'' 

 

 Robert huffed in response, but he agreed nonetheless. 

''Alright fine...'' he said,  

 

 The room went silent for a second. and then the doctor spoke up, 

 ''Right we've got a lot to discuss'' she said.

 

''Like what?'' Robert said,

 

''We need to know why you starved yourself, for one'' the doctor said. 

 

''I didn't starve myself per say...'' Robert said,

 

''Would you care to elaborate on that Mr. Sugden'' the doctor said

 

''Well... yes i've been starving myself'' Robert said ''but.. i've also been eating a lot and then i threw it back up'' 

 

''So you've been binge eating then'' the doctor said

 

Robert nodded,

''Yeah pretty much'' he said.

 

''I would also like you to explain those scars on your arms'' the doctor said,

 

''What these'' Robert said, referring to the scars. 

 

the doctor nodded,

''Yeah'' she said. 

 

''I uh... i accidentally slipped and fell'' i said, 

 

Aaron and the doctor looked at me unconvinced. 

''The truth'' 

 

 I let out an exasperated sigh

''That is the truth'' i said kind outraged. 

 

''Alright i guess that's enough questions for now'' the doctor said and then she left the room, 

 

After a minute Aaron spoke up. 

''Why?'' was all he said, 

 

''Why what?'' i said kind of confused.

 

''Why where you starving yourself?'' Aaron said, there was no anger in it. he was just curious, 

  

Robert sighed and fiddled with his fingers.

 ''Because... because i'm fat'' he said, ''I'm ugly, i'm not good enough-'' 

 

A rogue tear an down Aaron's cheek. and he wiped it away with his thumb,

''You're not fat Rob'' he said, 

 

Absolutely devastated by the fact. that his

husband would even say that?

 

''I... i am though...'' Robert responded. 

 

Aaron shook his head in disapproval,

''No you're not, so stop saying that because it's not true'' he said. 

 

''It's true though'' i said, ''I am fat'' 

 

''No you're not'' he said ''you're my beautiful husband'' 

 

i shook his head. 

''Stop lying, i'm not beautiful, i'm mess and you know it'' i said his voice full of frustration, 

 

''Your perfect Rob, why can't you see that'' Aaron said. 

 

Trying to get his husband to see that, what he's saying isn't true at all. 

 

 ''Because i'm just a waste of a human being'' Robert responded, 

 

 ''Your not Robert'' Aaron said ''you're a kind, sweet, loving man'' 

 

''You don't have to lie to me Aaron'' Robert said ''you can be honest with me if you want''

 

''I am being honest Rob'' Aaron said, ''you are kind, sweet, and loving''

 

''No, no i'm not'' Robert said ''I'm pathetic''

 

Aaron was going to say something, but then he stopped himself.

because no matter how much he tried to convince Robert, he wasn't as bad

as he was making out. Robert wouldn't listen to him, so he decided to leave it...

 

A couple of minutes Later Vic and Diane walked in. 

 

''Oh Rob'' Vic said as he hugged her me ''Are you okay?'' 

 

I nodded, 

''Yes i'm fine Vic'' i said trying to put her mind at rest. 

 

Vic Smiled, 

''that's good'' she said.

 

and then she broke the hug, pulled away and then stood at the side of the bed,

 

And then Diane came over to the bed. 

''Oh pet'' Diane said as she wrapped her arms around me ''How are you doing?'' 

 

''I'm alright'' i said with a small smile, 

 

''You sure?'' she asked.

 

I nodded, 

''Yes i'm ok'' i said reassuringly. 

 

Diane nodded.

''Oh that's good'' she said. 

 

And with that, she broke the hug and walked away form the bed.

 

''C'mon let's go and get a coffee shall we?'' Diane said to Vic, 

 

Vic nodded

''Yeah ok'' she said, 

 

And with that. they started to walked out of the room, 

 

On her way out of the room. she spoke up,

''We're going to the cafeteria do you want anything?'' she as she made her way out, 

 

Aaron shook his head.

''No i'm good thanks'' he said, 

 

''Alright'' Diane said ''We'll be in the cafeteria if you need anything'' 

 

Aaron nodded

''Alright thanks'' he said, 

 

And with that Vic and Diane walked out of the room,

 

After a second Aaron spoke up

''I love you, you know'' he said, 

 

I smiled 

''I love you too'' i said, 

 

Aaron smiled.

''Good'' he said his voice filled with happiness, 

 

''It's going to be alright you know'' Aaron said ''Now we know what's wrong, we can get you the help you need'' 

 

I nodded 

''Yeah i hope so...'' i said ''because i can't leave like this anymore'' 

 

Aaron nodded 

''That's why were getting you the help that you need''

 

I nodded

''Yeah thanks for being here for me'' i said ''even when i treated you like rubbish''

 

''Rob you're my husband of course i'm going to be there when you need me'' Aaron said, 

 

''Yeah i know'' i responded ''But still... after everything i put you through, the least i can do is apologise'' 

 

''It's ok'' Aaron said ''i forgive you, i know you were in a dark place''

 

I sighed.

''Yeah but's that's no excuse is it'' i said, 

 

''You wasn't in the right state of mind'' Aaron said ''So.. really it's not your fault'' 

 

I nodded timidly.

''Yeah but still...'' i said ''i was out of order and for that i apologise'' 

 

''Like i said it's fine'' Aaron said, 

 

''Well... thanks for understanding'' i said. 

 

Aaron smiled,

''I'm your husband'' he said ''It's my job to stand by you no matter what'' 

 

''Well thanks'' I said ''Because i really don't know what i'd do without you''

 

Aaron smiled, 

''Yeah i don't know what i'd do without you either'' he responded  

 

It's going to be a long road to recovery, a very long road indeed. but as long as i have Aaron by my side. 

it's all going to be fine, 

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've kind of re-written this chapter.

** Robert's P.O.V. **

 

I opened my eyes. I blinked, and i looked around the room. as my eyes adjusted to the lights around me, 

 

"Aaron..." i said my voice still groggy, from not long haven woken up. 

 

I heard some movements beside me 

"You ok?" he asked softly, 

 

I nodded timidly.

”Yeah” I Said,

 

Aaron nodded.

 

there was a second of silence, and then I spoke up.

”Aaron...” I Said my voice sounding kind of hoarse,

 

Aaron furrowed his eyebrows.

”Are you sure your ok?” he Said,

 

I nodded.

”Yeah, my mouths a little dry that’s all” I said,

 

”Do you want some water?” Aaron asked,

 

I nodded.

”Yeah if I could...” I Said,

 

Yeah of course” Aaron responded,

 

He took a plastic cup. He poured some water into it, and then he handed it to me.

”Thanks” I Said as I took the cup of of him.

 

”Don’t thank me Rob” Aaron Said “it’s just a glass of water” 

 

I drank about a quarter of the cup, before decided that was enough. 

 

”Yeah I know” I Said suddenly “but Thanks anyway...”

 

Aaron let out a a breathy laugh,

”Your a Right Muppet you know that” he jokingly.

 

I smiled at that, 

”Yeah tell me something I don’t know” i said smugly. “Which... would be nothing” 

 

Aaron shook his head in response,

”Your so arrogant” he said “you know that.

 

”Yeah but you love me” I Said, 

 

Aaron nodded in agreement.

“Yeah that’s true” he Said, 

 

“Well then...” I Said. 

 

Aaron shook his head in response,

”Your one of a kind, you know that?” he said. 

 

“Yeah you might of mentioned it” I Said,

 

”Yeah that’s because it’s true” Aaron Said.

 

”Well... I’m not going to argue with that” I Said, 

 

Suddenly the nurse walked in. with a tray of food in her hands, 

She put it down on the table. And then she put it in front of me,

“He you go Mr Sugden” the nurse said “here’s your lunch?” 

 

I eyed the food wearily. with a look of disgust. 

 “What the fuck is this?!” I Shouted, 

 

“This is your food Mr. Sugden” the nurse responded. 

 

I rolled my eyes,

”Yes I know that” I Said my voice filled with frustration. “I won’t to know why? you put this slop in front of me?!” 

 

The nurse sighed in response. 

"Mr. Sugden you have to eat something?" The nurse said, 

 

I shook my head in response. and i continued to stare at the food. 

"I'm not hungry" i grumbled, 

 

"Yes i know that Mr. Sugden" the nurse said "but you have to eat at least something ok?" 

 

I huffed and i rolled my eyes.

"Like i said" i said "I'm not hungry" 

 

The nurse went to response, but Aaron cut her off before she said anything.

 

”Let me handle this alright” Aaron Said, 

 

The nurse nodded in response.

”Alright” she said, 

And with that. She walked out of the room.

 

After a second Aaron broke the silence and he spoke up, 

“Rob...” Aaron said softly, stroking Robert’s knuckles with his thumb  “You have to eat something ok” 

 

I shook my head adamantly.

”I’m not hungry” I responded kind of deadpan, 

 

Aaron sighed.

”Yes I know Rob” he said “but you have to eat something, even if... it’s just a little”

 

I shook my head,

"I'm not hungry" i repeated,

 

"Please Rob" Aaron pleaded.

 

I shook my head,

"Nope" i said popping the p. 

 

And with that. I pushed the tray away from me, 

so that it was towards the back of the table.

 

We looked into each other’s eyes for minute and then he kissed, 

after a minute we broke the kiss and then we pulled away, 

 

“I love you, you know that” Aaron Said sincerely rubbing his hand up and down my arm gently.

 

I hummed in response,

”Yeah I love you too” I Said with a smile. 

 

Suddenly Chas walked in the room. Closely followed by Liv, 

“Hi Love How are you?” she said.

 As he wrapped her arms around Aaron pulling him in for a hug,

Aaron nodded in response.

”Yeah I’m alright” he said with a smile,

Chas smiled back at Aaron.

”Oh that’s good love” She Said, 

 

“What about you Rob?” Chas said as she wrapped her arms around Robert “how are you doing?” 

 

I nodded timidly. and I hugged Chas back, 

”Yeah I’m good” i with a small smile,

 

Chas moved her head back a little to look at me. 

”that’s great” she said,

 

I nodded in response.

 

And with that we broke the hug, we pulled away from each other, and then Chas walked away from the hospital bed. 

 

Liv walked over and she leaned against the side of the bed,

”Hey Rob” she said sincerely  “How you feeling?” 

 

I shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Yeah I’m ok I guess” I Said “I ache a lot, and I’m tired. But apart from that I’m fine” 

 

Liv nodded,

”that’s great” she said.

 

The was a second of silence between them and then I spoke up,

”What about you Kiddo” I Said “How are you?”

 

Liv shrugged.

”I’m good” she said,

 

I nodded.

”How is college going?” I asked.

 

Liv gave a slight nod,

”Yeah it’s alright” she said “I’ve got a lot of course work to do, but it’s good”

 

I nodded.

”that’s great then” I said,

 

Liv nodded.

”Yeah” she said, 

 

Suddenly I yawned into my fist, 

 

Aaron put a hand on my shoulder.

“You alright?” he asked,

 

I nodded tiredly.

”Yeah I’m just tired that’s all” I Said, 

 

“Do you want to put your head for bit” Aaron Said.

 

”Yeah” I responded tiredly,

 

Aaron nodded in response. And then he turned to his mum,

”Uh... Mum do you mind” he said.

 

Chas shook her head in response,

”No not at all love” she said.

 

”Yeah Sorry it’s just... he needs to rest”

 

”It’s fine honestly” Chas said “C’mon Liv We’ll go down to the cafeteria for a while” 

 

Liv nodded, and hauled herself up off the bed, 

 

And with that. They both walked out of the room, 

 

I led down. I closed my eyes, and then I went to sleep. 

 

———————————————————————

 

I opened my eyes. and I glanced around the room a little,

“Aaron...” I Said kind of groggily. from only just waken up, 

 

“Oh Hey pet” Diane Said as she flicked through a magazine “You ok?”

 

I nodded timidly and then furrowed my eyebrows. 

”Yeah?” I Said my voice evident with confusion “Where’s Aaron?” 

 

Diane turned the page and then she looked at me.

”Oh he’s gone to get something to eat and a drink” Diane Said, 

 

I yawned and then I nodded

”Right” I Said. 

 

 A couple of minutes later Vic walked in the room. and she walked over to the bed,

”Hey Rob” she said as she pulled me in for a hug.

 

I hugged her back.

”Hey Vic” I responded, 

 

“You alright” she asked. 

 

“Well.. I ache a lot, and I’m really tired” I Said “but.. apart from that I’m good” 

 

Vic smiled.

”Good” she said, 

 

And then she broke the hug. She pulled away, and then sat down on one of the chair beside the bed, 

“So...” I Said “how’s things with you” 

 

Vic nodded,

”Same old, same old” she said “nothing really interesting going on” 

 

I nodded.

”Alright” I Said, 

 

Diane finished her magazine and put it on the table next to her.

”So... have you eaten anything today” Diane Said,

 

 I shook my head.

"No" i said,

 

"Why?" Diane asked.

 

"I'm not hungry" i responded, 

 

“You have to eat though.. pet" Diane said her voice full of worry.

 

"I'm not hungry" i said, 

 

"But why?" Vic said.

 

This angered me even further,

"Because i don't want to is that a good enough reason" i snapped,

 

Diane sighed.

"It's only because we care about you pet" she said, "that's all" 

 

"Care! no one care's about me" i shouted "I'm just a fat, ugly, worthless pi-" i started to say but Vic cut me off,

 

"Your not fat, or ugly or worthless" she said "in face your none of those things" 

 

I nodded,

"Yes... yes i am" i said.

 

"No your not Rob" Diane said, "why would you think that?" 

 

"Because... because its true that's why" i said, 

 

Diane and Vic looked at each other.

"It's not though..." Diane said putting her hand on my arm, 

 

"Yes... yes it is" i said.

 

"Why?" Vic said,

 

"Because everyone hates me" i said "no one wants anything to do with me, and I'm just unlovable" 

 

"Now that's not true" Diane said "we all love you very, very much"

 

"Stop lying!" I screamed "you don't love me, you never did!"

 

"We do love you Rob" Vic said,

 

I shook my head

"No, no you don't" i said. 

 

Diane and Vic looked at each other, not knowing what else to say. 

 

Suddenly Aaron walked into the room, he looked at everyone. and he

Immediately sensed something wasn't right, 

"Has something happened" Aaron said,

 

 

Aaron grabbed a chair and he pulled it up to the bed, and then he sat down.

"Rob what's wrong" he said rather concerned at his husband's sudden change in mood,

 

I shook my head.

"It's nothing" i responded, 

 

Aaron looked unconvinced.

"Don't lie Robert" he said "i know something's wrong, so.. c'mon out with it"

 

I didn't say anything, i just stayed quiet.

 

Not knowing what else to say, he turned to Diane and Vic,

"What's wrong with him?" Aaron said .

 

"Well... before you came back" Diane said "he had a bit of a meltdown"

 

Aaron furrowed his eyebrows,

"What do you mean meltdown?" he said.

 

Well... he just kept saying that no one loved him, because he's unlovable. and he thinks everyone hates him and that no one 

cares about him" 

 

Aaron nodded timidly,

"I'll talk to him later about it" Aaron said. 

 

Diane nodded in response,

"Ok pet" she said.

 

Diane, Vic, and Aaron sat around and talking for a bit, about different topics of interest.

like what was going on in their lives, their opinions on things. and things like that, 

 

After a while Diane stood up from where she was sat, 

"I think I'm going to go now" she said. 

 

There was a second of silence and then Vic spoke up,

 

"Yeah me too" Vic said. as she stood up from her chair, 

 

But before they left they walked over and said goodbye to Robert.

 

 "See you pet" she said, 

 

"See you" i said, 

 

We stayed like that for a few seconds. and then we broke the hug and we pulled away from each other, 

After that she walked towards the door. 

 

Vic stepped forward, 

"See you Rob" she said. 

 

"Bye Vic" i said, 

 

After a few seconds we broke the hug and pulled away from each other, 

and then she also headed for the door. 

 

And with that they walked out the room, 

 

** Aaron's P.O.V. **

 

I stopped up from where i was sat. and i moved closer to my husband.

 

I took Robert's hand in mine and he i gently stroked my thumb over Robert's.

"Rob what's the matter?" I asked,

 

Robert brushed me off.

"It's nothing really.." he said, 

 

I didn't believe him.

"Don't insult my intelligence Rob" i said firmly, 

 

"I'm not it's the truth" Robert said.

 

"We said no secrets remember" i said, 

 

"I know" he siad "but i can't tell you"

 

"Why not?" I said, 

 

"Well... you won't understand" Robert said. 

 

I folded his arms across my chest,

"Try me" i said. 

 

Robert took a deep breath and then he spoke up,

I'm just fat, ugly, worthless and everyone hates me" he said.

 

I gave him a sympathetic smile,

"We don't hate you Robert"i said "why would you think that hmm?" 

 

"Because its true" he said "your all just fed up with me, and you all want nothing to do with me" 

 

I was slightly taken aback by that,

"Where's all this come from?" he said his voice laced with worry.

 

"It's true though..." he said "you all just hate my guts, and you all  just wish that i was dead!" 

 

Aaron's eyes went wide with shock and his lips were slightly parted is well,

"Don't you dare say that" i said "we all love you so, so, much and we don't want you dead at all" 

 

"You don't love me!" He screamed "no one loves me and no one ever will! I'm just a loser and you would all be better off without me!" i said screamed,

 

"No we wouldn't" Aaron said "we wouldn't be better off without you at all, why can't you see that?" 

 

"Because it's... it's true that's why" Robert said stammering slightly,

 

"Its not Rob" i said "its really not" 

 

Robert nodded timidly.

"Yes... yes it  is" he said my voice cracking slightly,

 

Suddenly his breath hitched in his throat. 

And a rogue tear slipped down his cheek,

 

I pulled him in to my embrace.

 

and he put hks head on my shoulder and then i completely broke down,

"Sssh Sssh its okay" i said soothingly as i rubbed comforting circles into his back "it's okay I'm here"

 

We stayed like that for a while. me gently rubbing circles into Robert's back and murmuring comforting 

things into his ear, while Robert just buried his head in my shoulder and cried and cried amd cried. 

 

After a while Robert's sobs had subsided and his breathing had returned to normal, 

 

After a few minutes i broke the silence and i spoke up. 

"You okay?" I asked, 

 

Robert nodded.

 

"You sure?" I asked a hint of disbelief in my voice, 

 

Robert nodded timidly.

"Yeah, I'm just tired" he said,  

 

"Yeah you look it" i said "why don't you get some rest eh?" 

 

he didn't say anything. He just nodded, 

 

Robert led down and his eyes closed as soon as he head hit the pillow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter thirteen

 

** Robert's P.O.V.    **

 

I opened my eyes and i glanced around the room, my eyes hurting as i looked

up at the florescent lights above me. I blinked a few times 

and then after a few seconds i was fine, 

 

"Hey Rob, did you have a nice nap" Aaron said as he looked up from his phone. 

 

I frowned slightly,

"Why are you still here?" I said. 

 

Aaron furrowed his eyebrows,

"Why wouldn't i be?" he said rather perplexed, 

 

"I thought you would've left me by now" I said.

 

Aaron's eyes went wide with shock and his lips were slightly parted, 

"Why would i leave you Robert?" Aaron said kind of confused. as to why his husband would even say that? 

 

"Because you hate me" i said.

 

"I don't hate you Rob" Aaron said "in fact... you couldn't be further from the truth" 

 

 "Yes you do" i said "Don't lie" 

 

 "I'm not lying Robert" Aaron said "I'm telling you truth" 

 

 "You don't have to lie to me Aaron" i said "you can tell me truth, i can take it" 

 

"That is the truth" Aaron said,

 

"Is it though...?" I said "is it really" 

 

 A rogue tear slipped down Aaron's cheek 

"Yes, yes it is" he said "I love you Robert, i love you so, so, much" he said his voice thick with tears.

 

 "You dont love me, you never did" i said "your only with me out of pity" 

 

Aaron shook his head

"I'm not with you out of pity at all" he said tears still running down his cheeks "I'm with you, because i love you"

 

""You don't love me" i said "no one loves me, because I'm un lovable" 

 

 "Your not un lovable at all" he said "I love you, Liv loves you, Vic loves you, Diane loves you" 

 

 "No they don't" i said "no one does" 

 

 "And why do you think that?" Aaron said, 

 

"Because it's true that's why" i said "you only put up with me, because you have too"

 

"No we don't" Aaron said "it's not like that at all, why would you say that" 

 

"Well... it's truth though isn't it" i said, 

 

Aaron shook his head

"No" he said "no it's not" 

 

"Yes, yes it is" i said raising my voice a little, 

 

"No it's not Robert" Aaron said "you are so, so loved, why can't you see that?" 

 

"I'm not loved" i said just above a whisper. "I'm really not" 

 

"Yes you are baby" Aaron said using the little nickname, they used sometimes to show that they are loved, 

 

 "No I'm not" i said "i don't deserve to be loved by anyone" 

 

And that made Aaron's heart shatter into a million pieces, it really did, because the fact that his husband

would say that that, just made him feel so sad. 

"Yes of course you do" he said, 

 

"No, i dont" i said "I'm just a loser, and that's all I'll ever be"

 

"Now you know that's true" Aaron said,

 

"It is" i said.

 

Aaron cupped my face in his hands, 

"Look at me Rob" he said softly "look at me"

 

I looked at him, and he looked me right in the eyes.

"I love you ok" Aaron said "i love you so, so, much. i always have and i always will,

you do deserve to be loved, so don't ever say that you don't. because you do ok, 

Because i love you and i want to be with you forever" 

 

There was a second of silence and then i spoke up.

 "Why do you want to be with someone like me for?" i said, 

 

And that was like a punch to the gut. It really was. 

 "Why wouldn't i?" Aaron said kind of perplexed.

 

"All i do is cause you pain and misery" i said, "and... and you really don't need that" 

 

Aaron's eyes went wide with shock, he couldn't believe what he was hearing? 

he really couldn't... like how could Robert say that, he doesn't cause him 

pain and misery at all. In fact... it's the exact opposite, 

 

"Don't say that" Aaron said "i love you, you dont cause me any pain or misery at all" 

 

I sighed.

"You'd be better off without me" i said truthfully, 

 

Aaron shook his head

"No, no i wouldn't Robert" he said "in fact... I'd be lost if i didn't have you" 

 

 "No you wouldn't" i said "you would be better off without me, you really would" 

 

 "Why would... why would you say that?" Aaron said, 

 

 I swallowed thickly and then i spoke up.

 "I'm not worth it" i said just above a whisper, 

 

"What of course you are" Aaron said "you deserve eveything i could possibly give you and more" 

 

"I don't deserve anything..." i said "I'm just an ugly, fat, worthless freak" 

 

Aaron eyes went wide with shock,

"Don't you ever say that again" he said sternly.

 

"What it's truth" i responded, 

 

"No it's not" Aaron said.

 

"Yes, yes it is" i said "I'm... I'm a car crash and you know it, i always have been" 

 

 "Now tell me you actually for one second believe that?" Aaron said, 

 

 "Yeah i do" i said "because... because i am"

 

Aaron took Robert hand in his and he stroked his thumb over hks knuckles.

"No your not" he said "I love you Robert, so.. why can't you see that" 

 

"But... but why?" i asked in disbelief "why do you love me?" 

 

And that broke Aaron's heart, it really did, because why he say that? 

Because your my husband Robert that's why" Aaron said "my husband, my beautiful gorgeous husband"

he said then placing a kiss on my hand "your my stars, my sky, my world my everything, and i love you to the moon and back, 

Because you babe deserve it, you deserve it so, so, much. so... let me yeah" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
